LEARNING TO INVEST --A PORTAL TO AN ALIEN WORLD
by anita sands hernandez
THE FULL LIST OF GREAT INVESTING GURUS, STOCK
                MARKET 101

WELCOME, I am YODA, your STOCK GURU, sitting here at this PORTAL to what you might feel is an alien world. But I will make it seems just like home. I am the voice of Experience and I am here to show you how easy it is to do a check on a corporation and decide if you want to invest that tiny wad of bucks that you saved last week ..perhaps by cooking your own DINNERS, wanting regular TV instead of cable, and mending your old jeans.

When I first wrote this article this paragraph  read "Your planet has  a Truly Made in the Shade Crap market right now, thanks to the Tech Wreck in 2000, Enron CAUGHT doing CORPORATIVE FRAUD three years later, and the MELTDOWN in 2008, 2009 and now the CORONA VIRUS--- But for you, that's GOOD! GALACTIC Experience tells one that one should never buy high! We cannot follow the lemmings who saw this huge TSUNAMI MARKET PEAK in Spring 2000, and NOBODY took profits. (i.e. SOLD). They just stood there with their shares like DEER in the headlights and to mix metaphors, all went hurtling over the cliff in a well-publicized bull market. BULL SOMETHING but not a market!! Any sensitive investor FELT the crash coming, HEARD the rush of the waterfall up ahead. Almost could make out the shadow of ENRON on the horizon!

The secret of making BUFFET BILLIONS in stocks is to wait for just such a time as we have now, a lucky chance time when the entire market is LOW, and very flattened --a TROUGH-- we are almost in a TOTAL WINTER. My astrological charts say the CORONA 19 will mess with us until mid 2021 beating the market low and lower. COLD and COLDER. TRY GLACIER AGE. You know what that means. YOU STAY HOME AND STUDY, familiarize yourself and  it means SPRING will not be far behind! The market has truly bottomed and foot dabblers, even amateurs like you and I, could get very lucky in SPRING 2021

Every dollar invested SPRING 2021 could become TWENTY in the future. True it's not stock that yields earnings of 8% a year, like in the old days cuz all the CEO's are ENRON to the knees. No, it's a horse race, the payoff is the fluctuating stock price. BUY LOW, SELL HIGH.  So what's the harm if it's extra money?

Warren Buffet didn't have moral or metaphysical objections to the horse race nature of the market. He created his own hedge fund, (you could too, with a few chums,) starting from zero and became one of the several richest men in America. So get off your moral high horse. Come down in the Wall Street trenches and do it with a small amount, 500$.

If you now waste cash on candy, movies, lotto, DVD's new toys, meals out, stop. DIET! Take that surplus cash and put it in stocks.

Study stocks at http://www.mffais.com/ Or, what you do is, you go to an IPO TRACKER  site & see what IPO emerged at that hour. Or as there are so few IPOS, find the ones that are emerging and give me a phone call,  12:30pm til 7 pm, at (818) 774-1939 and tell me the stock's HOUR OF EMERGENCE. If it's a JUPITER day, you Buy that one. That was how I picked KRISPY KREME DONUTS as a good stock, from the pretty peppy hour it Ďemerged.í and that one tripled! Though years later when world went no-carb, it crashed and burned. So is that simple, or what? Or, give  the data on when it emerged, and I'll look at stars that day.
 

My CO WIZARD, ANITA SANDS, did!  This reputable, sincere lady gives these free star dailies which warned everyone, get out of the MARKET by END if MARCH 2000 predicting the APRIL NASDAQ TECH WRECK. Her dailies read that way all WINTER, saying "THIS APRIL (2000) get out of stocks! March is even better to get out.!"

Yogi Bhajan said of this lady, "STOCKS are her thing!" It is so. Anita studies star cycles and understands: the Stock Market is a similar cycle, like the ocean, wave, trough, wave trough. Up down. Ooop. Gotta pause. Getting seasick.  (breath.)Study the "HOW TO MAKE MONEY WITH GUERILLA CAPITALISM OUT OF YOUR GARAGE OR KITCHEN" Seminar. Totally free, no registration req'd.  Maybe you MAKE THE ST. TERESA ENERGY BAR for your neighbors & family once a  week. Then for Healthfood stores. CLICK ON URL you get a very commercial RECIPE! You save, you're frugal. Your family catches fish, has a dozen subscribers. You Cook from scratch to save additional money. Today in 2010 I can buy l0 lbs of quarters for 49c. an lb, freeze a dozen.Cheaper still, I can save $ by creating burgers of  tofu ( My fantastically tasty recipe TOFUBURGERS  feeds ten people for a dime each). The idea is, you stick the extra cash in stocks!) The tofu burger tastes better than meat, cuz of those almonds, onions, cilantro, celery seeds and cornmeal mix and doesn't give cancer, is full of DHEA which youthens you, natural plant hormones and the ten bucks a day you save on meals is 300$ for stock purchases A MONTH, that may be worth 30 thousand one day soon, so whatís downing a few home made meals, when youíre upping your retirement fun? Huh? The words PARIS, TUSCANY whisper anything to you?

SO HERE IS THE STAR PORTAL TO THIS ALIEN WORLD, but first a tip or two.

#1 TIP. GET INTO CHINESE MUTUAL FUNDS

#2 TIP: LEARN STOCKS. Ex Under-Secretary of HUD, Katharine Austin Fitts now is a financial consultant, she recommends many sites, among them http://www.prudentbear.com and http://www.lemetropolecafe.com which lets you enter chat rooms and read their postings, lists, whatever those are....for two weeks, you sign up, no credit info req'd. Heartening is that at this time, AMERITRADE wants you to get your feet wet, online, so if you open a 2000$ account, they will give you 15 free trades, good for 45 days of acquiring, trading, so play for a month and see what you can do. The $2000 is always yours, not theirs. SO OPEN YOUR IRA account now. Afterwards, ll$ a trade, no biggie. First, read up for a day or two. 

http://www.stockmaster.com is a totally free study/research tool. Great.

http://www.smartmoney.com is also totally free. Has a section on bonds that will show the yields in a curve graph.

 Free http://www.morningstar.com/ great for quite a lot of services, no taking of your VISA card number, which I appreciate as I donít want them to automatically shaft me later for reading their damn pages. Chicago-based Morningstar is a leading provider of mutual fund, stock, and variable-insurance investment information.

Morningstarís Portfolio Manager is your financial ground control. Start by entering your portfolio holdings. Itís a snap! Then put your portfolio to the ultimate test with Morningstarís exclusive Portfolio X-Ray. Give it a try and if you find it, send me its URL: astrology@earthlink.net is me.

Morningstar also analyzes stocks. investors can profit from the same unbiased research and hard-hitting analysis that mutual fund investors have come to rely on. http://www.morningstar.com/Cover/Stocks.html

To receive your free electronic versions of the current issues of Morningstar StockInvestor and Morningstar FundInvestor, click where it tells you to do so, provide your User name and password, then follow the easy instructions.

These are all great places to start exploring Morningstar.com. And as you click your way around the site, youíll discover other great features, from up-to-the-minute news in our News area to outstanding investment education in Morningstar University. If you have questions about the site, get answers quickly at:


EDGAR ON LINE  last I looked seemed to be totally free. Click around & see. The source for todayís up-to-the-minute SEC electronic filings and related business intelligence tools. Study all their pages. Now, start by pretending to pick a few stocks which youíll watch for a few days. Learn their ticker name. Flexitronics is FLEX. You want the QUOTE on the TICKER NAME. You will be asked to enter the TICKER NAME abbreviation. So start your studies by picking a few sample favorites and keep on watching the ticker name for a few days.

MOTLEYFOOL seems to be free, I clicked there. The Fool exists "to educate, amuse, and enrich the individual investor." They make studying interesting, just like the class clown did when you were a kid.

STANDARD & POORíS PERSONAL WEALTH Ameritrade customers are eligible for a 10% discount off of the standard monthly subscription price in addition to a free trial. But do you need this is so many other sites are totally FREE for the same info?

http://www.BRIEFING.COM THE SILVER VERSION is free, Click on the left side of page, and go there. For gold and Platinum they give more services but want a credit card #.  Live market analysis and a free trial of the full stock analysis service. If they have your VISA card, you can expect an automatic charge later for GOld or Platinum. I HATE when that happens!!

THESTREET.COM SEEMS TO BE totally Free quotes, a site I like for quotes, but they charge for researching which they call premium content but they announce to you when you click on something, Ďsorry, thatís premium contentí so you wonít stray by error, which I LIKE! An online financial publication dedicated to providing investors with timely, insightful and irreverent reporting while bringing real accountability to the markets and the media that cover them.

eSignal (From Data Broadcasting Corp) A powerful, Internet-delivered quote service that provides continuous real-time market quotes, charts, news, and more at a significantly reduced price to Ameritrade customers. But, free quotes, charts maybe even live streaming quotes must be OUT THERE! They give you free software on their front page, for WINDOWS 2000 and up.

$2000 PROMOTION  for your annual IRA BUY, or 401 if you have a neat boss. is probably the REALLY NEAT ONE!!! IF YOU FIND a better deal, lemme know. Take advantage of Ameritradeís offer. Open/fund your cash account with $2000 and youíll get your first monthís Internet equity trades commission-free-up to 15 trades in 45 days. Itís an easy way for you to take advantage of their 25 years of experience.

NOW FOR THE BIG FINANCIAL MAVINS!! You can log on to financial advisersí Web pages to find their latest words of wisdom, plus information about their upcoming public appearances, favorite Internet links, even their theme songs and movie ratings.

Using their names plus a .com for their Web addresses, everyone from author Suze Orman to "Wall Street Week" host Louis Rukeyser to economist Ed Yardeni who now has a home page.

To be sure, self-promotion is inherent in having an Internet site named after yourself. And some of the pages are a little thin on content, while others may be too technical for the average investor. In an age of celebrity, though, these sites may be giving the public exactly what it wants.

And with everyone talking about the Internet and the stock market and investing, the sites may also be giving the public what it needs.

"Any personal finance site that can teach an investor any important lesson about planning for [the] future is of great value," said Dan Burke, a senior analyst who rates online brokerages for Gomez Advisors, of Lincoln.

Fortune Magazine has a site with a lot of study/research features. One of their pages had info on small businesses, a new list of the go-ers. Best corps to work for, lots of stuff!

With any financial advice or information from the Web, though, consumers and investors need to remember that they must do their own research and weigh the merits of whatís being said - and why itís being said.

The financial advisersí sites usually fill you in on their latest books and newsletters and let you know about TV appearances, radio broadcasts, or speaking engagements.

Most also allow you to e-mail a personal finance or investment question, and they may feature some quirky personal information about the advisers.

Beyond that, there are some useful features on the various sites, such as online calculators, economic data, and links to information about everything from charitable giving to college savings to the latest market news. Plus you get insight into the personís thinking about IRAs, taxes, and other issues.

But you wonít necessarily find all the sophisticated tools and information that are offered on a comprehensive site, such as Quicken.com or Microsoftís MoneyCentral.msn.com.

Hereís a roundup of some of the financial advisersí sites:

http://www.andrewtobias.com - One of the best parts is a sophisticated mutual fund calculator that lets you estimate the bite that taxes and expenses take out of a mutual fund investment in a taxable account, based on the fundís real-world costs.

Tobias, author of "The Only Investment Guide Youíll Ever Need" and other books, writes an almost-daily online column. Recent topics include the difficulty of short-selling (in the context of a stock he recommended and still owns) and saving for childrenís college educations.

http://www.suzeorman.com - With a different photo of Orman on almost every page, plus information about her books, tapes, and upcoming speaking engagements, this site appears primarily geared to those who are already fans of her bestsellers, "The Courage to Be Rich" and "The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom"and just want to eyeball photos of her. I could not find a single info-article there, though GOOGLING you find OPRAH had stored some valuable ones. Suze 'don't give it away!' Orman, a certified financial planner, MAY provide useful links to other sites that offer information about charitable giving, mutual funds, credit counseling services, life insurance, and retirement planning but I couldn't see them. Site has become a self serving yukky fan club.

http://www.jonathanpond.com - The least technically advanced and slick of the sites reviewed, this one, by the nationally known Boston-based financial planner and public television and radio commentator, promises "to give you the best and most up-to-date financial guidance." Primarily, the site provides information about his books, videos, newsletter, and public TV appearances. But Pond also answers e-mail questions on such topics as the danger of jointly holding property and 401(k) vs. Roth IRA. And there are useful links to college and estate-planning sites.

http://www.bobbrinker.com - This site, by "Moneytalk" radio show host Bob Brinker, provides links to company conference calls and stock market news, excerpts from Brinkerís Marketimer newsletter, and a listing of all the radio stations that carry his show. Brinker also offers an online discussion group, a list of the states that donít tax income, interest, or dividends, and hundreds of links to information about online banking, bonds, mutual funds, and stock exchanges. The most useful part of the site is its investor education center, covering everything from general economics to stocks. For intermediate students.

yardeni.com - Also not for the beginner, this site, from Ed Yardeni, chief global economist and investment strategist for Deutsche Bank Securities in New York, has sophisticated economic data, online charts, and demographic information, and links to the Federal Reserve and other agencies. Yardeni, famous for having warned of a Y2K crisis that did not come to pass, also has some fun things on his site, such as the complete text of "Hamlet" and his own movie ratings.

Rukeyser.com was RUN FOR PROFIT ONLY. This site by the longtime public TV personality offers little more than a chance to subscribe to his newsletters, sign up for his Las Vegas investment conference, or buy his special reports. But there are some free online samples of commentaries for fans who canít get enough of Rukeyserís folksy monologues.

SO, let me know what you think of these sites. I need feedback info as I can add to this article and incorporate your perceptions. Letís do this for a month with our spare cash. BUT only after weíve done our homework. A WEEK of doing it after two weeks of study would be the smart thing. Then, as a stock astrologer, doing a weekly column, you will see the HOT MOMENTS, free at my website. That site can give you the day and hour of the crashes, there are many, as the marketís bouncing like a ball. You see one ahead, you PULL OUT for a few weeks. You wait for the stock to hit bottom, then buy in again. I hit APRIL 2000 to the day, in MARCH was saying get out, get out.

#3 TIP: Stay away from munis and all bonds until inflation  levels out. I WROTE THAT JUST BEFORE 2012 OLYMPICS. Bone up on inflation with a good day or two of googling. You want to understand it. This author's Grandpa came to learn about inflation the hard way in Germany, 1918 thru 1935.

THE AUTHOR is an ASTROLOGER.
Without pulling my suspenders unduly, may I confide that I predicted the APRIL 2000 crash and had all my people out of it a month beforehand. I give way free astrology lessons at the ASTRO LADY SEMINAR which teaches you GOOD DAY BAD DAYI recommend that you pick a DIAMOND DAY to start some audacious enterprise and hey, when you get this SUPER DIAMOND DAY. THEN you buy your stocks.

Yogi Bhajan head of the Sikhs in the Western Hemisphere, once said of me that "she could make anybody money in stocks. The speech he gave about "happiness" tells how Anita was meant to be a stock market tout. The tape of his speech was made into an article which is on his website still. A talk given March 3rd, 1989. "BE HAPPY" its title, part about me is near the end.

"Thatís not all her credentials. She's a real witch, just like I'm a real wizard. (We're pretending that this is YODA speaking, right?) Well with reference to my career as a witch,  I learned stargazing back in 1954, PICKED JUPITER or URANUS days to take interviews, to start my own Hollywood career, (WILLIAM MORRIS signed me the horary was that good at picking dates), and I acted in movies & TV til I had kids, then became a professional stargazer since I brought my four kids out of Mexico in 1969. I have four Taurus planets in the tenth house all related to  Aquarius planets in the 7th. I have written 3 cover stories for DELL HOROSCOPE MAGAZINE -- about Power Hours and NEW AGE DHARMIC BUSINESSES, and finance matters, other pieces were in the mag tho not on cover. My websites go into SURVIVAL 101, EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ACHIEVING FAMILY HAPPINESS and WEALTH, SAVE ON TAXES and NEW AGE and UFOS/ALIENS GALACTIC visitors and GARDEN practices. And money.

Now is the time to start your career investing, now as market has bottomed out, now while everyone else is running away, the sting of Spring 2000 in recent memory, the HORRORS of ENRON curling investors' hair. Call me just before you make your buys, when you have a dozen stocks selected, and run their names by me. I throw the astro dice on them see which of the group is the pick of the litter. The Yogi Bhajan investing committee calls me and I do this for them, free. Ditto a Chicago investor and I keep tabs on what they run by me so I'm always making lists of the cream of the cream. (818) 774-1939. At time of writing this piece, the Chicago Investor mentioned SunLife on the NYSE. My astro-Dice liked it.But this PART of this article was written back a ways. You have to run them by the dice, fresh, I answer fresh. Just from the seat of my pants, I'm saying buy NDN on the NYSE while it's at 10. It's a fantastic company, I use it daily, (ninetynine cents only stores,)  better supplied than all competitors, lower prices, too. shelves stocked well.IT WAS at 35, now it's at ten dollars. Get it now.

And for the STAR STOCK WATCH go buy a DELL HOROSCOPE MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION. Each month in last few pages you will find the POWER DAYS then RUMBLE AROUND ONLINE looking for IPO's. This is about finding HOURS that week where thereís only sheer, pure luck. Those are the hours you BUY stocks and make the stock-buying decisions. Also, on super good days, when you see an IPO emerged, buy some of that! Maybe after checking with me by phone to see if only good aspects follow. My theory is, make certain the GOOD LUNAR ASPECT is the last aspect before the MOON CHANGES sign. So thatís why just good aspects arenít enough. It has to be the LAST aspect. So thatís why I say check with me.

A CALIFORNIA newspaper, the Valley Daily News has a regular feature where they ask six people to run a pretend 100 grand portfolio. They all do very well. Some nearly doubled their play money. My doctor's 13 yr old son took Daddy's credit card and made a hundred thousand! With the help of a math whiz kid like that or a wizard like YODA....you could do better! 

REMEMBER, wet your feet first in the ASIAN MUTUAL FUNDS, particularly CHINA. If you invest in ASIAN markets now, you will do so well you can buy MANHATTAN SKYSCRAPERS and BEL AIR PARKLANDS. Check this file.

BUT AVOID HEDGE FUNDS OR FUND MANAGERS. USE MAX KEISER FOR FREE on RT.TV on YOU TUBE.SUZE ORMAN was on TV, Feb 2009, said "Your money in stock market should be in ETF (exchange traded funds) suze orman said on Tavis Smiley 4-12% earnings on them. If you're age 40 or under, and have matching 401k, then invest in that to the point of match, no further. Invest in ETFs if that is possible . Municipal bonds at another time may be a great investment." Suze is only in this and ETF's no stocks at all.  If some day you're jobless and you need cash, always take from a ROTH IRA as there's no penalty, and let the 401 sit there. As that would have penalties!

IF YOU ARE HEADED toward bankruptcy, don't touch a ROTH !!! Reason? Nobody can take it from you in a Bankruptcy. Leave that alone til you go bankrupt then live on it. STAY AWAY from STUDENT LOANS, the first to pay off, the last to let slide, not dischargeable in bankruptcy! Go to a cheaper college.A community college. Don't ever get a student loan. Hope Obama will fix this area of finance, soon. Better yet, go to the COTTAGE INDUSTRY WEBSITE and do something you need no education for. BE A SHRINK, 4k a week. Be an importer/ exporter of any handicrafts from your friends/city, 2k a week. See the entire GUERILLA CAPITALISM website now.
 

NOTE: REWROTE this file AUGUST  2015, after a six day crash and 7th day comeback,  Stocks are still fairly priced. (JANUARY 2016, I polish this article, MORE than a week of dropping prices. When there's BLOOD IN THE STREET get in on the flurry.)  REWROTE IT AGAIN with CORONA VIRUS,MARKET which LOST A THIRD, 28 to 20.  REAL ESTATE  may not be THIS YEAR's investment alternative as A.) it's over priced.  the prices have gone insane! Especially California and NY and coasts...though HURRICANE alley may be discounted. A gorgeous old house in Waco Texas is 78thousand. ARKANSAS a great place. NO state income taxes. REST of country is fairly priced. BUT the problem is, credit hoops you must JUMP thru are way worse  So Get together a way way bigger down payment with GUERILLA CAPITALISM and as the ^  REAL ESTATE INDEX immediately above suggests, do a 4 chum investment in a 4 unit bldg. The smart money doesn't buy single family housing (AS AN INVESTMENT).

VISIT  WEBSITE 'HOW TO LIVE IN  THE COUNTRY AND RUN A COTTAGE INDUSTRY VIA THE INTERNET"  So IF YOU LOVE RURAL LIVING, check out a fab magazine "THE WEEK" a kind of competitor to TIME MAG which has a few houses for sale every week, all above 5 mil but there's always the bargain of the week for 225k and it's HUGE and charming. It's probably gone the day that mag hits the stands!

NOW, a final word. If you want to be of genuine assistance to your friends/parents who have a lot of disposable income, tell them this. Discuss a frugal investment in TRADE, IMPORT/ EXPORT with Mom/Pop, authorities, bosses the person stashing wealth.. SHOW THEM how your biz idea is better than a bank, IMPORT/ EXPORT is the way to earn 1000% on their money a year. Show them details on how  your biz idea is a sure thing. Show them a PROSPECTUS. AND LANGUAGE for power, by vowing to do the work. Right now, their money sits in banks that any day could close their doors. They could lose it all. WHY?  FDIC has a 20 year clause in their fine print. A two decade period to pay 'em back, at which point the l00k is worth zip. Bupkis, Nada --Rien. zero. zilch. NIENTE. GOOSE EGG! That's lunch at the POSH BAGEL 20 yrs from now. Now, alternative two. PUT THEIR CASH under mattress, it gets lost when maid makes the bed.  l0% a year disappears right off the top annually TO INFLATION. End of ten yrs that money buys Dinner at WALMART.

kiowa soft shoes, a money idea, beaded
                    moccasins for sale, double your investment every few
                    months. INCREMENTAL growth starts happening if
                    you're a smart merchandiser...But --buy l00 pairs SUEDE INDIAN MOCCASINS from MEXICO (1 /10th the price of real American Indian-made) with your money in the coming year you do KIOWA SOFT-FEET at FACEBOOK, ETSY and other sites or HOPI HAPPY FEET or the KIOWA INDIAN SHOE line to stores across your city, you make 100% or 1000% on your money.  AND YOU DO THAT MANY TIMES A YEAR. NEXT order is 200 shoes you call APACHE FOOT, then third is 300...call them NAVAJO FOOT...your shoes are now getting famous, Then you expand to EUROPE get 3000% percent on your money. Get the picture? Frozen, COLD, BANKED MONEY IS DYING MONEY. It's like the shark, either it swims forward furiously EATING everything in its path or it is DYING. GET THE PICTURE?

NOW for the distaff argument, LEE CAMP RTV's charming genius comic
 https://www.truthdig.com/articles/wall-street-is-the-definition-of-a-ponzi-scheme-literally/

signed, YODA and his co-wizard (who is channeling Yoda,)
Anita Sands Hernandez astrology @ earthlink.net

*     *     *     *      *   *     *     *     *      *      *     *     *     *      *   *     *     *     *

Our POSTER is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, Los Angeles Writer, mother of 4 and career Astrologer. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The  FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS,  HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS... Anita is at astrology@earthlink.net ). Get a 35$ natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate career reading out there!

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