A MODEST PROPOSAL ..
TEACHING OUR KIDS TO HANDLE REALITY
What we parents need is a well planned curriculum designed to teach the RUTHLESS RULES OF REALITY, one Mom and Dad can implement easily at home. Something along the lines of how to make kids appreciate and fully apprehend the True Nature of Government so they can be ready to interact smoothly with the current, planetary Modes Of Operation.
No one would argue it’s not important to teach our boys and girls to succeed in life. That art or skill is mainly about handling the little pesky, maybe sometimes annoying, quirky DETAILS of life for example the current business realities they will encounter which reflect --if not the true Nature of LIFE on our planet,-- then the true nature of THE CONVOLUTED SCHEMES OUR RULERS THOUGHT UP to keep us overworked, poor, crazy, harassed, tired, sick and defenseless!
As good parents, you surely want your kid to be forewarned as to what was coming at them!
A simple, at-HOME way to give your children a basic civics course right in your own home are mini-models! In our own experience as parents, here at the LEGACY WEBSITE an online magazine full of tips for surviving modern life, we have discovered several simple ways to illustrate to a child’s mind, the principles which the Modern State uses when it deals with it’s citizens.
RULE #1. TAX THEIR little rosy ASSES IN THE CRIB! Every time you serve that cute, gummy toothless infant a meal, take part of it back saying I AM THE STATE. Particularly fun to do when it’s cake or pudding! Really instructive! The more the pre-rational tot understands ‘this is how it is, you loser,’ the readier he will be to accept the woes of MODERN LIFE as an adult.
TODDLERS GOTTA HIT THE SALT-MINES EARLY! When your child is a little older, you can teach him about the need for an 8 hour work day by reminding him that every human since ADAM has worked at 14 hour day and only after a few lily-livered liberals recently got it shorn off to 8, a wimpy girlie man system indeed --- have they not worked a full 14 like an ubermensch and that kid should be damn grateful!
Get the little softie to work a full 8 hrs in the home before he’s wimped off into that sappy paradise, kindergarten. Give him a sting of the whip to prepare him for post high school reality. KIDS can do so many HARD LABOR CHORES WELL!. They’re built close to the ground for a reason!. ON YOUR KNEES shorty. That is a bucket of suds and here is a rag. SCRUB and rinse! The thing you’re kneeling on is called a FLOOR! And it must be spotless!
Oh, WHILE YOU"RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES … – Don’t get up so fast, shorty. When you get over there to the corner cat box? Use the little broom and dustpan for granules that flew. I got the little whiskered darling for YOU. He's yours! Use the waste paper basket, then that set of plastic bags for turd-removal. Once these are disposed of, then add more litter. Don't inhale cuz coughing isn't getting you out of your work day. I have more fun coming.
DAILY SUNSHINE VITAMINS!- Drag the hose around both gardens, watering well. Deeply. I want one inch of water on every plant out there.
IT’s NOT SUNDOWN YET! THE CHAIR in the kitchen is so you can do the dishes. AND NO MUDDY shoes come inside. YOU TAKE THEM OFF at the door and put these slippers on. Slippers will be here, by back door. You should be back from doing all that garden work by four PM, do dishes until sundown.
SALARY? WHAT PLANET DID YOU FALL OFF? YOU MUST BE KIDDING! DO THEY PAY YOU For SCHOOL? This is like SCHOOL what I'm doing here. You oughta thank me for taking time to teach you this.
SHOW AND TELL RATHER THAN EXPLAINING- Our Tax System was constructed in a way that is real easy to grasp if (when he asks for gelt,) you just show him the ROOF he’s under, the FURNITURE, the fridge, the pantry, the hot water, the heated air and smile a Cheshire smile. This ‘show and tell’ will allow JUNIOR to understand the benefits of TAXATION. It’s like roads, schools and police, which we parents set such great store by when the State gives us this same explanation with less reason. Roads are already built. PANTRY must be stuffed daily!
GIVE HIM A GOOD GRASP OF PHYSICAL LAWS! There is no dark without light. It's physical law. WITHOUT that law, the weather would get so hot, we'd fry! TOO MUCH GOOD TIMES can kill ya! This Law will be taught the child in three easy to understand parts. FIRST IS the DARK SIDE: SALARIED LABOR. SECOND is THE LIGHT SIDE: EARNINGS. THIRD IS ANOTHER DARK SIDE: TAXES! And that's the deal take it or leave it. It's very balanced, explain.
Offer him, say, $10 to mow the lawn. When he has mowed it and asks to be paid, withhold 33% or about $3.33 and explain that this is an Income Tax. Give $1 of this to his younger brother, who has done nothing to deserve it, just cuz he’s too short to mow. Tell big brother this welfare AFDC donation is "fair" because the younger brother "needs money too".
Explain that you need the other $4 yourself to cover the administrative costs of dividing the money and for various other things you need. Make him place rest of HIS $7 in a savings account over which you have authority. Explain that if he is ever naughty, you will remove the money from the account without asking him. Also explain how you will be taking most of the interest he earns on that money, without his permission.
Mention that if he tries to hide the money, this, in itself, will be evidence of wrong-doing and will result in you automatically taking all the money from him and placing him in jail (his room.) Conduct random searches of his room in the small hours of the morning. Burst in unannounced. Go through all of his drawers and pockets. If he questions this, tell him you are acting on a tip from a mate of his who casually mentioned that you had both earned a bit of spare cash last week. If you find it, confiscate all of that money and also take his stereo and television. Tell him you are selling these and keeping the money to compensate you for having to make the raid. Also lock him in his room for a week as a further punishment. Cut the electricity to his room so he cannot watch TV and say ‘just like in a real jail which is where you’re going sonny.’ Say that a lot to prepare him for reality.
ACTIVISTS AND REFORMERS GET PUNISHED! When he cries out at the injustice of this, tell him he is being "selfish" and "greedy" and you, the state, are only interested in looking after his own happiness. Explain that he should learn to sacrifice his own happiness for other people and that since he cannot be relied upon or trusted to do this voluntarily, you will use force to ensure that he complies. Tell him that later in his life he will thank you for it. Remind him that JFK, MFK and Gandhi got shot for mouthing off. And there are numbers of anti-gov, expose-prone reporters who ‘got suicided’ under mysterious circumstances some just last week!
RUTHLESS RIGAMAROLE AND RULES – Keep him crazy and harassed. Make as many tedious semi logical rules as possible. Example: No bicycles allowed off the property. Leave the reasons for them obscured --- implying darkly that huge dangers would await him elsewhere in this horrid world. Cite current events of ugly tenor. Enforce these bans arbitrarily. ‘For his own good,’ you say unctuously as often as you can.
LICENSES, FEES AND FINES UP THE WAZOO- NEXT, charge him 100$ a year for the privilege of using that bike. Every time he parks his bike in your garage, charge him a nickel. If you don’t find that nickel there on the shelf, next to bike, leave him a ticket with a huge huge fine, and tow his bike away to another property far from home. Ask him to pay a huge FINE, 100$ for failing to put money in the meter. Meanwhile charge him 70$ a day garage-storage fee, for each day he doesn’t come up with the huge FINE.
THERE IS NO #(%& SANTA CLAUS, JUST THE THREE STRIKES AND YOU’RE OUT CLAUSE - DIRTY CLOTHES ON FLOOR, BED UNMADE, DRINKING OUT OF the MILK CARTON –ALL PUNISHABLE BY PERMANENT LOCK UP. To get him terrified that he used up his limit, frequently accuse your child of breaking rules you have never told him about and carefully explain that his /her ignorance of your rules is not an excuse for breaking them. Keep him anxious that he may be violating commands you haven’t yet issued. Instill in him the feeling that rules are utterly irrational.
All of this will prepare him real good for living under a Democratic Government. And this practice will also turn him into a sociopath. This is page for page how Charlie Manson and Jeffrey Daumer were raised. So I'm only kidding. But when he is old enough to read, show him this article so he'll see what a marshmallow darling YOU WERE! Cuz you didn't do any of the above! Another source suggests OTHER CHILD CARE MODES.
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