A GLOCK and a ROTT, SURE FORMULA FOR SURVIVAL IN HARD TIMES
My pal showed me a digital graphic of her adored Rottweiler, BARON. who was a truly Majestic dog. Extraordinarily broad and thick shoulders and body. If that were flying at your face, no surgeon could put you back together. Jaws of IRON, barbed with sharp white teeth. I wrote her, "You are so set for the hyper inflation and ensuing crime wave. When all those hungry people from the city come looking for you suburb farmers sitting there helpless and alone, far from neighbors on your fertile little food-growing Oregon ten acre farm, you'll be ready. Such a lovely Rottweiler, too. The sad thing is that he will keep you safe but he may be endangered by his ferocity. Let me explain. The day some starving big city criminals drive their S.U.V. onto your rural property with their shotguns, uzis, their hand guns, and come up your walk --- out comes Mr. Robusto Poocho volunteering himself as sacrifice. Sure, one guy goes down immediately, throat, neck and face crushed by your Rott's mighty jaws which he cracks like an egg but meanwhile the other three are shooting your adorable fur child, and probably nailing a few of your family members in the panic. Contrast this with this scenario. You hear the dog bark, he's locked in the house, in fact, right by your bed. You sit at the window with your Glock pistol or rifle. You throw the light switch. Halogens light the yard up an acre each way. Ping! goes one thief -- Ping! goes the other. and you got meat in the freezer fer yer ROTT! Sound good? If you think so, I want you to get a Glock and practice on targets so you can nail them thru the average, cretin thieving, lazy forehead which is a small target indeed.
Ah yes, -- come that crime wave, that inflation, criminals in the boonies, you can fall back on a Glock and a Rott it's the pairing off of the two that works. And oh yes, don't forget to buy a hugamungus freezer and a lot of plastic wrap and don't forget the electric tree saw to crush those burglars bones to something resembling lamb shanks and a sealed garage to park the thieves' SUV in until your '83 Chevvie truck dies and you need their SUV.
PS leave their heads in forest nearby til they're skulls, then take all bones to the post office, mail to whatever address is in their wallet. Damn. I watch far too many crime shows! Probably best is to just call the cops and say you saw them coming with guns and you can't shoot well and you hit them when you were trying to miss. After all, a rott will eat squirrels.
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