My
pal showed me a digital graphic of her adored Rottweiler, BARON.
who was a truly Majestic dog. Extraordinarily broad and thick shoulders
and body. If that were flying at your face, no chimpanzee
surgeon could put you back together. Jaws of IRON, barbed with sharp white
teeth. I wrote her, "You are so set for the hyper inflation and ensuing
crime wave. When all those hungry people in Portland come looking for you
suburb farmers sitting there helpless and alone, far from neighbors on
your fertile little food-growing Oregon ten acre farm, you'll be
ready. Such a lovely Rottweiler, too. The sad thing is that he will keep
you safe but he may be endangered by his ferocity. Let me explain. The
day some starving big city criminals drive their S.U.V. onto your rural
property with their shotguns, uzis, their hand guns, and come up
your walk --- out comes Mr. Robusto Poocho volunteering himself as sacrifice.
Sure, one guy goes down immediately, throat, neck and face crushed by your
Rott's mighty jaws which he cracks like an egg but meanwhile the other
three are shooting your adorable fur child, and probably nailing one another
in the thigh just a little in the panic. Meanwhile, you are in the window
with your own Glock pistol or something with real stopping power.
Got a 38? Ping! goes one thief brain -- Ping! goes the other brain. and
you got meat in the freezer fer yer ROTT! Not BARON, no, sadly he is no
longer with you but if you have an assembly line and a Rott bitch pregnant
with puppies, you will have more Barons for your next set of thieving visitors.
Sound good? If so, I want you to get a Glock and practice on
targets so you can nail them thru the average, cretin forehead which
is a small target.
Ah yes, -- come that crime wave, that inflation, criminals in the boonies, you can fall back on a Glock and a Rott and oh yes, don't forget to buy a hugamungus freezer and a lot of plastic wrap and don't forget the electric tree saw, with real, whirring HAM HOCK POWER. And a garage to park their SUV in til your 83 Chevvie truck dies and you need the SUV.
PS leave their heads in forest nearby til they're skulls, then take all bones to the post office, mail to whatever address is in their wallet. Damn. I watch far too many crime shows!
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