HOW TO DO YOUR OWN BERNIE MADOFF, AND USE or ABUSE YOUR REAL ESTATE to LIVE HIGH, HAVE FUN! TRAVEL AND TRIP OUT ON ITS HELOC POWER!
Got this LETTER FROM A FRIEND just now:
Hey Sands, Do you know how the rich abuse the real estate they buy?
HUH? sez I "You can abuse real estate?
Yeah, sort of ---you abuse the bank, really. And the American economy.
WHAT's WRONG WITH THAT? I think we all should abuse a bank or two!
Yeah, right, Jeez you are VICIOUS, SANDS...but stay with me here. First
get the lingo straight. In REAL ESTATE PARLANCE, "HELOC" means "home
equity line of credit.". OK. I'm a realtor right? And I found an unbelievable abuse of the
refinancing option in just the history of this one LA house that I'm repping.
ABUSE of refinancing?
ABSOLUTELY. Now say someone BUYs a house, that sold for $250k in 1998,
is by 2006 worth $3,376 Million. Imagine how much you can borrow on it! Got the picture?
OH DO I HAVE THE PICTURE! But abuse? That's not abuse is it? It's FREE MONEY!
Wait a minute. Say you and your four kids bought this house for 250K 11 years ago.
The House market was real strong. Now you start pulling money out. l00k at a time. LIVING
la vida loca, traveling to Bali, kids in private school...
I lead la vida loca all the time, without a dime of money on hand and you don't make me
wrong for that. However, I see you're a real pilgrim. I pull out 100 k
at a swipe and YOU THINK I DID WRONG?
If you do it ten times and take three million out it is.
I don't see how or why -- that's a lot of vida loca.
Right. That sum represents all of the equity taken out of the
house over 8 years to support the owner's idea of a fancy lifestyle.
Youkeep running me down. HOW IS any of THAT BAD?
What if I took each loan from under the house & funded
each child in grad school then in his own biz? HUH?
I bought a house with fiftyk down, and out of it,
funded all my kids. WHY IS THIS BAD?
Start at the beginning, remembering that HELOC means "home equity line
of credit.". I was looking at the record of a house I'm repping and I found
an unbelievable abuse of the refinancing option in this single LA house.
Mind you this old, Spanish beauty that sold for $250k in 1998, is now on the
market for $3,376 M. which represents all of the equity taken our of the
house over 8 years to support the owners' fancy lifestyles, not its real value.
It's just a four bdrm, two bath, half acre home. Big city lot, but ordinary
for L.A. How do I sell it for the 3 mil the bank has paid out on it.
Sing the siren song of the truly pretentious and say that this HOUSE belonged to
the mistress of RUDLOPH VALENTINO. An amazing property built for the
beauty who broke the heart of a Hollywood legend. Your client is going to
think, Wow, I wonder if it would make me cool if I lived where some Hollywood legend
mistress lived? Probably not.. but maybe if I had a tiger rug and a hookah and a wine cellar,
I could date some great hotties.
OK, fine, Say you buy the house you and your wife and kids. And instead of a
wine cellar you build a gaming room. So how do the Joneses really live?
Well, if you are near the top rung of the ladder, you own a house in the
best neighborhood, you milk that house for every penny it appreciates,
throw opulent parties, and try to make everyone on the next rung down
the ladder jealous. It goes something like this:
This property was purchased in the early 70s for around $150,000. My
data does not go back that far, but the total assessed value is $346,592
which would account for the original valuation and the proposition 13
adjustments since it was passed.
I do not know what the original mortgage was, but for the sake of
calculating MEW, lets assume it was $120,000 which is 80% of $150,000.
My records pick up in 1998. On 10/23/1998, there was a new first
mortgage for $250,000. This point also marks when the property went from
being owned by a couple to being owned by just a woman.
Four months later, On 2/9/1999 the new owner refinanced a $400,000 first
On 7/2/1999 she opened a HELOC for $150,000.
On 3/31/2000 she opened a HELOC for $759,000.
On 2/16/2001 she opened a HELOC for $609,300.
On 3/1/2004 she opened a HELOC for $1,200,000.
On 10/2/2006 she refinanced with a $2,700,000 Option ARM with a 1.5%
On 10/2/2006 she opened a HELOC for $200,000.
On 3/12/2007 she opened a HELOC for $787,500. Total property debt is
$3,487,500. (which explains the current asking price).
Total mortgage equity withdrawal is $3,367,500. But as it's 2007, she
can sell the house and get her full asking price. So she made money on
the deal. BUT she's a chick, doesn't see the signs, keeps it a year
longer and the RECESSION IS HERE. Housing prices plummet. The bank is
out over three mil and she's bankrupt. See? HER LIFESTYLE murdered the
bank. And her!
YEAH, but me, I'd sell the house as soon as it peaked!
BUT HOW would you know when that was?
EASY. I'm an astrologer. I picked the NASDAQ fall to the week, predicted it months
ahead of time. Kyoto quake to the minute. I'm good.
Stony Silence. Sound of grinding teeth.
Don't try it Sands. Just promise me, you won't try it.
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Our POSTER is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, Los Angeles Writer, Futurist, mother of 4 and career Astrologer. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS, HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS....* Anita is at firstname.lastname@example.org ). Get a 15$ natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate reading out there!
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