MULCHER
VULTURE INVENTION! Garden
work in summer should entail plenty of mulching. It should involve YOUR
becoming a MULCHER VULTURE. That's
when (like the notorious bird that waits til stuff is dead,) you
make use of lifeless plants. By JUNE 1st, all of our gardens are
full of dead, brown, toasted annuals and bulb tops. Compost them where
they are! Throw dirt on them, wet them down.
By OCTOBER 1st, the leaves have all fallen off the trees and are making a thick carpet of dry fluffy leaves. Get some use out of it, Compost them. You can leave them right where they are to use them, but to get quick, black rich compost, you must A.) rake the leaves into a bunch and lift it onto the bed! and B.) get down on knees, on a soft mat and lift that rich soil from either bed or under your feet in the pathway and place it up onto the flower or vegetable beds which are hopefully raised by lumber or dry stack concrete pieces. Slap that eroded black rich soil on TOP of that DEAD stuff. Slap those ruffly leaves there, cover with soil, and wet it down so it will rot fast.
That is good black soil on your path as all your top soil erodes under or thru the dry stack or lumber edging into your paths, It's inevitable and what's more it's the blackest top soil, it's great stuff.. So lay it on all the dead plants, hose & WET IT, so it's not cement-y, so path turns pliable. Kneel on a mat, as ground is hard. Knees get injured.
Use a flat, short handled shovel
tool, actually none exists in the marketplace
ergo you could make a mint with a MULCHER VULTURE, a flat shovel same size
as a trowel, same weight but flat shovel blade at least 8" broad, not narrow
at the tip as this one is. Package it with a KNEE MAT like a baseball
BASE, urethane rubber maybe, in the same pckg. Gardening gloves also. And
put a big, happy VULTURE on the cardboard package art, grinning at you
saying "LOVE THOSE DEAD LEAVES." or "I don't get FED til it's DEAD!" ON
BACK the artwork that everyone hangs in their mudroom saying 'TODAY
I'm GOING TO BE A MULCHER VULTURE."
As you lift soil up on to the raised bed, note that in summer, are dead spring plants, all brown or greenish brown. Bundle the dead stuff up, no ends hanging over, lay the soil on top of them, bury them and include weeds by pulling out every weed you can reach, laying it in there upside down. The whole bundle will rot, composting what's beneath. All that dead greenery becomes soil quickly.
ALL SUMMER long be a MULCHER VULTURE. Your gardens will start to rebloom immediately. My spring blooming plants get that first spoonful they revive, come back and turn into biennials or perennials! Wear knickers you don't care about as you'll never get mud stains out of the knees!
ALL
AUTUMN LONG,
rake your leaves into a pile, pick them up and lay them on the beds. ALTERNATIVE:
create a special, compost pile areas. As I don't like to carry
leaves far, I just arrange them around plants right on the
bed and get the SOIL from the path, too, and put that on top of the leaves!
Autumn and winter will do the rest. They will melt those leaves into happy
worms, black compost and Springtime or whenever you sow your annual seeds,
you'll have black, wormy beds ergo happier seedlings & plants!
Now for the good part. How to make a million dollars. FORGE a MULCHER VULTURE sample, at a local GARDENING TOOL FACTORY. Make them in SOUTH KOREA for a buck a piece. Wholesale to HOME DEPOT type stores with the mat and gloves and ART PACKAGING of cellophane & cardboard. My gift to you is this highly saleable CATCHY PHRASE of a name, The Mulcher Vulture!
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