MULCHER
VULTURE INVENTION Garden
work in summer should entail plenty of mulching. It should involve YOUR
becoming a MULCHER VULTURE. That's
when (like the notorious bird that waits til stuff is dead,) you make use
of lifeless plants. By JUNE 1st, all of our gardens are full of dead,
brown, toasted annuals and bulb tops. You can leave them right where they
are to use them, but to get quick, black rich compost, get down on a mat,
on your knees and lift that rich soil in the pathway up on to the flower
or vegetable beds which are hopefully raised by lumber, dry stack concrete
pieces. Slap that eroded black rich soil on TOP of that DEAD stuff.
That is good black soil on your path as all your top soil erodes under or thru the dry stack or lumber edging into your paths, It's inevitable and what's more it's the blackest top soil, it's great stuff.. So lay it on all the dead plants, hose & WET IT, so it's not cement-y, so path turns pliable. Kneel on a mat, as ground is hard. Knees get injured.
Use a flat, short handled shovel
tool, actually none exists in the marketplace
ergo you could make a mint with a MULCHER VULTURE, a flat shovel same size
as a trowel, same weight but flat shovel blade at least 8" broad, not narrow
at the tip as this one is. Package it with a KNEE MAT like a baseball
BASE, urethane rubber maybe, in the same pckg. Gardening gloves also. And
put a big, happy VULTURE on the cardboard package art, grinning at you
saying "LOVE THOSE DEAD LEAVES." or "I don't get FED til it's DEAD!" ON
BACK the artwork that everyone hangs in their mudroom saying 'TODAY
I'm GOING TO BE A MULCHER VULTURE."
As you lift soil up on to the raised bed, note that in summer, are dead spring plants, all brown or greenish brown. Bundle the dead stuff up, no ends hanging over, lay the soil on top of them, bury them and include weeds by pulling out every weed you can reach, laying it in there upside down. The whole bundle will rot, composting what's beneath. All that dead greenery becomes soil quickly.
ALL SUMMER long be a MULCHER VULTURE. Your gardens will start to rebloom immediately. My spring blooming plants get that first spoonful they revive, come back and turn into biennials or perennials! Wear knickers you don't care about as you'll never get mud stains out of the knees!
OH YES, how to make a million dollars. FORGE a MULCHER VULTURE sample, at a local GARDENING TOOL FACTORY. Make them in SOUTH KOREA for a buck a piece. Wholesale to HOME DEPOT type stores with the mat and gloves and ART cardboard.
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