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NOVELTY and EXCITEMENT
always travel with PUBLICITY and when those three get together, you will
invariably have HIGH PROFITS. You want to invent something so ludicrous,
high concept, fun, useful or imaginative that it sells in a TORRENT. The
PET ROCK was that way once. The HULA HOOP was a planet wide sensation.
Hasbro cleaned up. Now, I have had ideas equally fine as those and hey,
nobody's made them yet so let me share them with you. Carry out their manufacturing
and send me 3%.
I
wish I could include a drawing of an invention I once had, the "Lumbar
Cucumber", but I do not know how to use my scanner so have no ability to
send drawings to folks and I draw and cartoon very well. But imagine a
huge pillow shaped
like a pickle and with the same little dots printed onto the fabric, the
pickle warts, right? Imagine that
you wear this big pickle in the small of your back when you're sitting
a long time, at work, in a chair, in a car, traveling, in a theatre. The
pickle is suspended on a velcro belt so that is can be placed at the small
of the back. It will keep your aching lower back supported when you sit
down. Plus it always gets a laugh. I invented it out of NECESSITY because
I am seated a long time daily, trying to organize my desk. I need
to use a back support everywhere --- MY FIRST design was a rolled up BEACH
TOWEL, sausage shaped roll. However, those suckers cost 12$ each and
I kept leaving my rolled up beach towels in theater seats after the movie.
So I invented the VELCRO tipped ribbon on both ends of a sealed pickle
pillow. Pretty neat, huh? Back stores all over the USA and EUROPE would
love it! Make 'em in Africa or China. Stuff them somewhere where pillow
stuffing is cheap THE NAME IS LUMBAR CUCUMBER! Don't forget to send me
my 3%!
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THE BAD BACK
/ SENIOR or GAMER PC LOUNGER for 8 hour shifts of a TYPIST/ WRITER WORKER
Imagine a
recliner lounge with a PC MONITOR and keyboard 
cantilvered
on a swing arm. Or on a special invention called a RECLINER-PC ADAPTER!
This sucker has an IRON FOOT if it's separate so it can't slide, tilt or
tip. It only has to hold the PC MONITOR which is tilted toward you
and downward. The MOTHERBOARD can be off on the DESK. THE MONITOR is mounted
firmly in brackets on that swing arm. The keyboard is on another lighter
weight swing arm but it's not mounted. You simply place it there. Seniors
now can do the INTERNET THING, comfortably. And at a moment's notice, the
arm swings away and you can get out of your recliner chair go nuke a pizza,
shoot some tube, come back and get back to work. DESKS are cruel for seniors!
Their backs cannot take hours sitting up. Even young GAMERS can't handle
HOURS on a couch. The position tires out the arms of the gamer. THE
PC LOUNGER is the answer to all these problems.
THERE is a
SCHEMATIC DRAWING ONLINE of a conventional PC DESK intended for the BED.
THE
WEIGHTED BASE TO THE TABLE
SIDE VIEW of SAME
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THE * LIGHT * YOUR WAY TO * SUCCESS LAMP *
A novel lamp as it's half dayrunner, half bulletin board, but also a functioning desk lamp. I call it THE "BUSY LIFE LAMP." "It will light your way to SUCCESS". That's what you tell the clients via a TAG that is hanging from the shade when you sell it. It's got a great gimmick that will make it a best seller all around the country.
The Life Lamp goes on a table that is at
a desk worker's elbow, hence it is tall, and its shade is even with the
eye level of the desk worker. It illuminates the computer keyboard, work
surface, drawers of desk, the perpendicular desk surface (of the table
it's set upon). LAMP requires a narrow foot, as there are likely to be
many objects on the desk. So it is 8" square.
The key point of its design is that it ROTATES upon a base so that its four sides can be exposed to the worker. Why? Because its four sides will be made of bulletin board material that will take PINS.
It will be used as a memo board. Stick-ums (those
little pieces 
of
paper people stick on walls ) really don't work. They're unreliable, fall
down and get lost, and most of all, you can't stick them on much near your
work area. They simply do not STAY STUCK to most surfaces. You could use
tacks on a bulletin board work, but who has space for a bulletin board
at one's desk/writing/work area? The rotating bulletin board lamp
has PLACES FOR YOUR POST-ITS. There are now four acessible surfaces divided
into four life areas and they turn easily to face you. We give the buyer
stickers so he can choose how he wants to label each side. TO DO NOW:
CALLS
TO RETURN: CALLS TO MAKE: BIZ CARDS: ERRANDS TO RUN: BILLS
PAYABLE & DUE NOW and STUFF TO BUY NOW, or AT STORE GET: and
fiinally GREAT IDEAS: But some just simply "MEMO: etc. You print them up
by the thousands, on sticky paper, and cello-wrap 'em and enclose them
with the lamp package. PATENT this sucker so no one else can copy it. Make
a million. But it's only one article you sell. THE IDEA for becoming mega
rich is hustle a thousand products an hour.
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THE MULCHER VULTURE
- Imagine doubling your plant production 
in the garden in spite of the beating heat of SUMMERs in the new Epoch
of GLOBAL WARMING.. MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS WITH THE MULCHER VULTURE INVENTION
Garden work in summer should entail plenty of mulching. It should involve
YOUR becoming a MULCHER VULTURE. That's when (like the notorious bird that
waits til stuff is dead,) you make use of lifeless plants. By JUNE 1st,
all of our gardens are full of dead, brown, toasted annuals and bulb tops.
You can leave them right where they are to use them, but to get quick,
black rich compost, get down on a mat, on your knees and lift that
rich soil in the pathway up on to the flower or vegetable beds which
are hopefully raised by lumber, dry stack concrete pieces. Slap that eroded
black rich soil on TOP of that DEAD stuff. That is good black soil
on your path as all your top soil erodes under or thru the dry stack or
lumber edging into your paths, It's inevitable and what's more it's the
blackest top soil, it's great stuff.. So lay it on all the dead plants,
hose & WET IT, so it's not cement-y, so path turns pliable. Kneel
on a mat, as ground is hard. Knees get injured.
What you will
use is a flat, short handled shovel tool, actually
none exists in the marketplace ergo you could make a mint with a
MULCHER VULTURE, a flat shovel same size as a trowel, same weight but flat
shovel blade at least 8" broad, not narrow at the tip as this one is.
Package it with a KNEE MAT like a baseball BASE, urethane rubber
maybe, in the same pckg. Gardening gloves also. And put a big, happy
VULTURE on the cardboard package art, grinning at you saying "LOVE THOSE
DEAD LEAVES." or "I don't get FED til it's DEAD!"
As you lift
soil up on to the raised bed, note that in summer, are dead spring
plants, all brown or greenish
brown. Bundle
the dead stuff up, no ends hanging over, lay the soil on top of them, bury
them and include weeds by pulling out every weed you can reach, laying
it in there upside down. The whole bundle will rot, composting what's beneath.
All that dead greenery becomes soil quickly.
ALL SUMMER long be a MULCHER VULTURE.-Your gardens will start to rebloom immediately. My spring blooming plants get that first spoonful they revive, come back and turn into biennials or perennials! Wear knickers you don't care about as you'll never get mud stains out of the knees!
OH YES, how
to make a million dollars. FORGE a MULCHER VULTURE sample, at a local
GARDENING
TOOL
FACTORY. Make them in SOUTH KOREA for a buck a piece. Wholesale to HOME
DEPOT type stores with the mat and gloves and ART cardboard. Everyone
hangs the VULTURE art work in their mudroom, garage, back porch or frames
it as it's it should say 'TODAY I'm GOING TO BE A MULCHER VULTURE."
* * * * * * * *
WHEN you go to OFFICE or FURNITURE stores with your lamp or PC GAMER's RECLINER, it's good to have a second PRODUCT also for the HOME OFFICE: I pick up all the boxes at supermarket that are five inches by five inches. Gravy, enchilada powder, every kind of POWDER sold has envelopes which are sold in market with gravy box holders. WIth say two dozen envelopes in them. They are thrown away when they open a new box of gravy. I TAKE a few empty boxes off shelves, only if they're nearly empty, stuff the rest into the other box on the shelf, throw the box into bottom part of my shopping cart. In parking lot, don't forget to remove it!
I papier mache that DISPLAY BOX. Living in MEXICO I saw how easy this was at Gemma Tacogna's cottage factory. Or Jeanne Valentine's, both of which I visited as I knew both dames. I go home, cover them with squnched up bumpy, wet newspaper torn and CRUMPLED big time, (write me at astrology@earthlink.net, I'll give you recipe,) let dry, then stretched out a bit and pasted on, DRY, I vinyl house paint first coat, then do colors/ designs thenvarnish them. Then I rub in antiquing, rub it off, It looks like a RENAISSANCE artifact. Or I DO NEWSPAPER COMIC STRIPS, or witty POLITICAL CARTOONS from the Editor's page. ALways let dry, then a day later, varnish. My PC FLOPPIES go in them! MY ORGANIZER BOXES are pre built for me by LAWRY's ENCHILADA MIX! AT THE FACTORY.
If I were selling them to an "COTTAGE INDUSTRY HOME OFFICE LIFE ORGANIZER STORE" AT THE MALL, I could paper mache up a dozen a day. I might be a barrio mother with four kids on the floor, no welfare as all welfare stopped thanks to BILL CLINTON but I could make a product for MY LOCAL LIFE ORGANIZER STORE. MAYBE I could even learn to electrify & MAKE THE LAMPS, glue on the cork board. OR both lamps and organizer boxes. But that's probably better for a professional carpenter.
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Chicken Little
Sez "THE FAMINE IS COMING" Beef going to 5$ an lb, Chicken to 2$.
All America will want to grow their own meat. Farm TILAPIA. Nobody can
grow bunnies. Nobody can KILL A BUNNY or a chicken. Americans generally
do not have the stomach for it. But we can do
FISH FARMING IN YOUR BACKYARD WITH THREE LITTLE PLASTIC KIDDIE POOLS
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FASHION
INVENTIONS YOU CAN MAKE MONEY WITH
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NEW AGE INVENTIONS - Anything that helps you get to your unconscious. Gestalt, Primal, will be a good seller in this crowded age that we face as there is a lot of rising insecurity, acting out, anger, rage and on some continents, even worse. So we need to popularize any new age device that makes people calm and wise until they're as prevelant as the PET ROCK ...that was a neat fad and a cute one. A pet rock box or cage on your desk drew interest. But here's something new age and serious.
THE
CALIFORNIA DREAM ALARM. One day we'll
all have dream alarms. You're snoring away and suddenly you hear the thing
say in a quiet voice, "you are dreaming, a wonderful dream and you are
remembering what you are dreaming and now you will wake up and write it
down." Next, we need a light-up full size keyboard with LIT KEYS
on the bed beside us, ready to jot that dream! So we need a long long extension
so the computer reaches to the keyboard on bed. Now, if you can touch type
in your sleep like some of us can, you jot features of the dream
down and press Save. You go right back to sleep as you barely broke the
REM barrier. In ten minutes the damn clock wakes you again, same voice,
then in twenty, then in an hour and they keep doing that all night unless
you double punch the button in which case the clock goes to sleep too.
Now the obvious point is, once your unconscious realizes you're geting
the full message, it'll start giving you Freudian sized Oscar winning dreams!
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