The Christian Evangelical, Republican White Man and his Constitution.
by Marc Tucker.
You are invited to add to a group rewrite. (It already has rewrites in it,)
PREAMBLE TO THE *RIGHT WING NICE PEOPLE's WHITE* CONSTITUTION (which G.O.P lives by and which signifies that within a century they'll be outbred by rainbow coalitions...which will be more ironic and karmic than biological.)
"We the Right People of the United States, Christian Evangelicals in the main, in an attempt to help the Right Wing get along, restore some semblance of justice for the rich, avoid more riots for our misdeeds, keep our corporate nation safe, promote positively Right behavior, and secure the blessings of perpetual debt for the working class, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some more gibberish. This why we call it the Bill of *Rights*.
ARTICLE I: If your skin is dark, or you are from some Middle Eastern Religion and we include Star icons of all shapes and forms, you do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth unless you are born into it. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing that the rich won’t find a way to tax them away from you. And we will certainly laugh at you when you drive down the street in a big Lincoln or Caddie with all those kids.
ARTICLE II: The Christian Right is here so you can be offended. This country is based on their freedom, and that means freedom for the Rich White Christians-- not for you. You may leave the room. The world is full of idiots, and presently they run the United States. Get used to it.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from our harm. If we stick a screwdriver in your eye, we expect you to pay us to remove it, so that we can continue to be both irresponsible and independently wealthy. We own everything.
ARTICLE IV: Only the Rich have the right to free food and housing - we call them “loopholes”. Americans will gladly fund us in our time of perpetual need, subsidizing generation after generation of inherited wealth.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. We do and you will pay for it for us. We’re also interested in public housing, except that we call it “graduated tax write-offs”. We are not people, we are corporations with legs.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm us. That’s for us to do to you, as we send you and your children to die in our corporate wars, while our children become lawyers.
ARTICLE VII: We have the right to your possessions. If we minimum-wage you, divide/ separate, encourage racial conflicts between your various rainbow sects, if we cheat, coerce, or legislate rights away from you, whether by union busting or denying your worker's com cases, don't be surprised: it’s the law, everything’s okay. For us.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job or job training or welfare if you can't find a job --nor right to bankruptcy protections if you can't find a job-- but we have a right to corporate bankruptcy when your idiotic business plans land you (and stockholders/investors) in hot water. Or when our BANKSTERS plot weird DERIVATIVES to DUPE borrowers, householders and foreign banks dumb enough to buy them, and WE WILL GET BAILED OUT! The rich were meant to stay rich and that’s done on *your* backs. Taxpayers. Get used to it.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness and we help you in no uncertain way towards that end. Shut up, pay your taxes, work for us, keep your eyes averted when we enter the room, and obey.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country....and accent-free voices, kept polite and low, is what we expect. And no ethnic music on boom boxes driving thru our 'hood.'
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage; only we do. If you are not a driveling Christian or if you have more than three brain cells to rub together, you are dangerous and should be expunged. Be quiet and stay still, we’ll get to you sooner or later. And remuneration for some ancient conflict or mistreatment? FERGETABOUTIT!
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