Merry Christmas yee auld bunch of California Savages, I'm  a royal Caledonian myself. Jack Fraser my name, being the sole Scottish wild cat to inhabit the woods of RESEDA. Did ye know that one of my English siblings was seen walking into Parliament, right off the London streets? They gave him some scones with cream and he stayed through four Kings. His pups went on to migrate down to the balmy south on Thames one winter and there we were, right as rain, not having been down that way since the times of Robin Hood and King Richard,having cleared out of the congested cities long before. But I am today an appurtenance and regulator at the home of another Scot, Anita of the Fraser Clan in Reseda having been born to one of her wild feral girls cross corner from her seedy yard and cared for day and night by her Tuxedo cat SPARKEY who isn't too bright and thought himself padre of Scottish Jack and father to the Queen of Ugly contests, Miss Pumpkin. (Cat-fathers can declare non responsibility as they wish and I declare Pumpkin's no Scot, ergo NOT of MINE OWN MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED blueblood, SCOTTISH FATHER. So I ACCEPTED SPARKEY as he sure was noble, standing in for m'real Da.

My so-called sister was born of a Spanish Pig crossed with an Halloween squash but I'm an authentic Caledonian and have lived the last three of my four years seeking to establish my own clan-- hard to do as every last one of anita's felines has been tinkered with. But  a half mile off I found a lovely classy lassie and had the joy of San Fernando, my son IRWIN.

elsewherein the barrio i found a few girls

IRWIN OF RESEDA : HAIL FANCIERS! I AM IRWIN. Being a true Scot (think of Sean of Connery) I ruled no Kingdom as I never belonged. That does not assume some personality quirk indicating lack of faith in meself. Nossir. It means I NEVER BELONGED TO ANY MAN, WOMAN or CHILD. I roam independent and free just as my Dad Jack does. I eat off the fat of the land. No mouse unpursued, though My Dad Jack frequently tells me, come to his Zelzah neighborhood for a breakfast lunch and dinner of steaming boiled chicken and Friskies meat cans which are served in separate set ups at the front door of 7900 and the good lady keeps her various fat but jealous house eunuchs off the path when the food is spread. In fact, out of the entire front yard.

I don't visit as my borough is full of raw meat that actually struggles!  Where's the sport in Boiled Chicken?

DAD JACK SPEAKING: Irwin's up to that kind of challenge but for me,three meals a day on a china plate is the draw ---the only caveat being that I must allow Tatiana No-Tail to share in the spread. Who? Anita's front yard spectre. Ghostling, Shy Girl,

tatiana no tailIf some dog hadn't ate the back  half of her tail she'd be a real beauty. Pure Black short hair with yellow eyes. Figure to die for. But the source of real beauty means one thing should be exaggerated, just one spectacular disfigurement. Proven with a Look at Barbra Streisand. Sophia Loren. So while you're frozen seeing her beauty then your blood runs cold as you see the two pink fang marks tatooed down her stump ending at a cliff mid-tail or mid where the tail SHOULD be.

Anyway I'm skirting my purpose here today. Anita Clan of Fraser picked me to forward her Christmas GIFT to you. It is this:
 This file will provide you with endless joy. It is a miracle.

SO we THOUGHT We'd send you a CHRISTMAS MESSAGE signed Tatiana No Tail, Rufus, Sparkey, Pumpkin, Caledonian Jack , The three Twinkie sisters. Nicky (Sparkey's idiot brother) and the Absent Irwin who's out daily dueling raw meat. And Anita whose Mother was born Helen Grace clan of Fraser