Toxic personalities to avoid (found online)
Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted,
happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't
so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day,
happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by
someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it
is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain
individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the
world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly,
unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely
independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain
family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously
negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our
'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our
happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our
self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out
of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics.
Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated
until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are,
and push them to get what they want.
Why the MM is so toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your
belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that
you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense
of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of
the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their
needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance
and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly
as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt
about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't
always about you."
Why the NN is toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving
your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled.
Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that
you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If
you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the
impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll
tell you about how difficult the final is going to be. (I believe they did this
one on Saturday Night Live. And they did the WHINERS, too.)
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy
outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know
it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray
colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things
as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives
refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste,
they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers.
In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a
homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with
these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you
why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you
dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what
could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your
belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new
things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being
sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel
depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You
tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build
relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless
relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be
there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell
you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would
rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most
inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they
are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you
confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member
who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their
business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't
respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will
cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make
them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of
you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility
for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them,
that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all
of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these
people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2)
Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and
as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you
wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with
age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
GOSSIPING GUS - He's your chum so you trust him with your stuff. Big
mistake. At your party with all your other friends, he suddenly starts telling
raucous stories about you. EEK! GIMME A GUN!
WHIMPERING WANDA- She cries on your shoulder regularly but never
giving you the full story. Finally she tells you she's getting a divorce lawyer
and you're worried. Something just doesn't feel right. Then she makes that
little slip, hysteria about something YOU DO KNOW ABOUT and you are
able to take a dipstick reading and the only dipstick is HER. SHe's a collector
of injustices, never satisfied, blaming others for all her own life decisions. And she
has just told her toxic husband some horrible gossip about YOU. Or worse,
confided to him that you bad mouth him, called him abusive, when it was SHE
who told you he was abusing her all the time. At that point, you tell her very
thoughtfully that she needs psychiatric help. She takes that as an INSULT,
cuts you dead, just like she did everyone ELSE in her life..
THE BETRAYING BETTY- Anything private you tell her
will get back to her husband or children. She wants to make certain that neither
come NEAR YOU. SHe'll be your friend but God forbid her husband likes you.
And if your kids praise you but once, she'll find a way to sabotage you thinking
that you'll never hear of it. This is real easy to do in this land of EMAILS, too.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you
can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these
behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these
personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
Website where I found this has Related Topics:
a.. Dealing with Bullies
b.. 6 Steps to Stop Being Manipulated
c.. 9 Ways to Live Longer
d.. The Price of Not Saying No
e.. Rumble in the Cubicle Jungle: Dealing with Workplace Conflict
Related: work, wellness, toxic relationships, relationships, mental health,
marriage, love, home, dating, children
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