November 8, 1995
The TRIGGERED You -- The Pushed Button
The thing we have to face or look at in the mirror is not that person, that failure, that lack, that limitation. What we have to look at in the mirror is to see the God in us. To see the powerful one, the beautiful one, the love and the capacity you have for giving up that part that is the limited, fearful, lacking, unfulfilled person. That's the opportunity!
You see the God who gives up that other being, that stupidity, the conversation in your head, that starts to come out of your mouth. Talk that's personal, about what you want, and what you did and what you didn't do and where you're going and what's going to happen and what you need, like and don't like. Give up that personal, private conversation. It's an 'I' talking to itself, tyrannizing and dominating your consciousness with its verbiage, its diaharrea which has never stopped since you were born. The only time it wasn't there was when you were a little child and even then, it probably started because your parents weren't doing something or your friends didn't like something and you wanted this and that and there was this constant thing because the media and your schoolmates was the training. You were thrown into this way of being that you thought you had to make it or get something to be OK and look good. That's the part of you that you have to totally give up.
It is this new age that is going to kill that in everybody. We are going to become selfless. In that space of selflessness, of consciousness about the other, about serving, participating, creating, mastering ourselves, training ourselves, about being conscious in the moment of what it takes to produce happiness. to give yourself the keys to the kingdom, to be the one who loves to practice your arts, acquiring new abilities. That's when there is a part of you participating in a ritual of selflessness, a ritual of killing the ego, giving up the identify with all these 'I wants' and 'I like and I don't like.' The insanity of identifying with your ego's desires.
The part of you that gives up the yammer is that ritual, is the part of you that you will take on as a mission, as your way of being forever, which is what all great teachers have done. They serve, give and love, not with lip service but with humility. If you will do the same, they will join you in a unity of love, a unity of people coming together.
To join in, squash your ego and 'your stuff'. Kill that neediness that makes you go to others, needing, asking, demanding. Those are screws loose in your brain. You're God, you don't need to live in fear, take what's not yours, beg for things. You don't have to 'make it.' You have already made it. But you seem not to know that. You start with 'I want, I need,' this stuff called survival. Well, start trading your ego for the holy spirit, trading your 'survival' for aliveness.
What is the difference? They are two, diametrically opposed thought systems. They can never come together. They have no meeting ground. There is a chasm between them. The ego's thought system says 'I need, I want, I must survive, I must defend myself, I need to be recognized, I need to make it.' The holy spirit's thought system says "there's nothing to make. I'm OK. Everything is perfect. I'm already God and I can create everything I want. All I have to do is do it. "
Why are you wasting your time with one moment of worry? One moment of thinking what somebody else did or has? Manipulate yourself to the way of being a true God, being what Gurdgieff called 'the sly man.' When opportunities come, don't stand in your own way with inner yammer and considerations. Just say 'of course,' and reach out your hands and grab these opportunities and possibilities.
Every time your mind starts to talk to itself about 'I, me and mine,' you must drop it, kill it, in the moment it occurs and take the other state of conscious called 'serve, give, work. Give everything you can give, expect nothing in return. Don't worry about success or failure, or what you get out of it, ever. And you will be the reward because you will be operating as God.
But most of us play small potatoes. If you'd devoted your last five years just to making money, forgetting everything else in the world, only concentrating on making money you'd be rich today. You'd be doing whatever you wanted. There are very few people who will do that.
Or, you can decide you're never going to work again. You study with one-pointedness. Choosing, I'm going to do my music, I will never work again. And it will happen.
But you don't believe. You believe in what you think and fear instead of believing in what you say. There's a difference in creating what you say and in saying what you believe. Being a creator and saying 'I will, I am, I practice, I serve, I create,' and fill in the blanks as opposed to 'I want, I hope, they don't believe in me, they don't trust me, this is no good, this is bad, I'd like to be there, I don't want to be here, I hope this happens; I hope that doesn't happen. They should have done this, I got screwed here. ' That is the ego talking.
We need someone to pin us to the floor on this, to stop that. To tighten up the screws and watch our languaging. You can do it. You can kill the ego and forever speak the word of God which says 'I will, I am, I create, I do.' The 'I' is not a singular 'I', it is the Universal 'I.' 'I am' is the Universal 'I am.'
Somebody who has loose screws is someone who is mentally deranged, not there, feeble minded, or crazy, off the mark, they're not playing with a full deck. All of these are expressions for people who aren't straight, logical, conscious, mentally there. What is it that keeps someone in that state of not having all their marbles? There's only this one thing that's lacking, the effort to be conscious and aware and to bring yourself up on line and see what it is that you need to be doing with your attention, ability to see in the moment what it is that you don't see. What it is that you need to see, that's missing that you don't even see is missing for you. Once you can see that, you would change, shift your way of being.
If you had terrible posture and you were never conscious of it, and someone said to you 'man, do you realize that you are bent over and your back has this whole lump in it and you're about to have scoliosis and terrible problems and all of a sudden, you look in the mirror and you see this hump back and you realize it and you think 'go to a posture class, start to sit up straight and be conscious of that until it becomes a 24 hr. a day message on your brain and you change it.' That's what I'm talking about: this ability to be aware, conscious, pay attention. That is the ingredient lacking in people who have problems, loose screws. They don't see this Buick sized hump on their back. Your back. It's that terrible and life threatening, to your well being, your consciousness, to your relationships and success or failure. Why you work, what you are doing here --- is to be well, to have well being. Yet the very thing that threatens the well being of each of us only comes about through this lack of attention to the very things that produce the results we want. Why I bring that up is because I see friends, wonderful Godly beings, who are totally living without all the marbles, having these loose screws, not seeing that what we're doing, engaged in moment to moment is a lack of attention to make distinctions, to see clearly what's going on and to be able to take the bull by the horns and do something about it making a shift in our way of being that brings attention, awareness, sensitivity. Eventually, it's awareness, attention, being awake, working and practicing. Everything else is wasting time, an escape into a moment of boring interaction with life that doesn't have the real fire in it. The real fire comes from what I'm talking about, from having everything you want, all the success you need, from having every kind of talent and beauty and relationship and super intelligence, health, vitality and power that can bring you the Kingdom of Heaven or the power to create it.
All of this is just a dialogue about the possibilities. In the actual working of it, it becomes a very unique, creative act when you have the ability of Marlon Brando to make that distinction of how to act, how to take a piece of dialogue and transform yourself into somebody else. Or imagine being Barbara Streisand with a voice like that. Those things come about through this process. They don't just happen. They happen because we as Gods put our attention and awareness on something and make those distinctions and practice those things. That's what everybody wants. Why do we have television, films, beautiful material things? Because those are the things that creatively we wish to create. These are the visions in our head and we wish to fulfill them. That's the process of creativity. The creator says 'I can do this to have that.' It's a "be-do-have" process. We are not looking at it in this logical, conscious way, that we must do to have. Having is of no consequence when you see that it's only a result of this creative process. You no longer indulge in wanting or being attached to having or seeing having anything as important. The only thing is that you are being creator, the cause of it all.
Devote your energy and consciousness to this particular thing called awareness, attention, being alert and alive to what it is that you're going to do to create what you wish to have. That's the whole story. The rest of it is putting yourself in the attitude, striking the pose, and creating the aptitude to be that. Whether it's going to school, studying a book or just being conscious, doing everything you can that brings about whatever it is you wish to have in your life.
The trick that you do is that you see what's needed and wanted for any particular thing that you're aspiring to create and have, and you don't let up at any time in pursuing that, even though there's going to be a lot of inertia, obstacles, old habits and stuff but you keep pushing through it. It's called perseverance.
I never remember a time when I did not desire with all of my heart to know and be everything I am today.
What's the difference between the triggered you and the real you, the one who serves and is enlightened. One is acting like a button that gets pushed, a reactor, reacting to what is said. The reactive you simply thinks something, and reacts internally, is an 'I' talking to itself. This triggered you, this robot, this one who is constantly being the same way whenever something comes at you, is the thing that your acute sensitivity and awareness, your attention must be on. By always seeing and having your attention on what's happening to you internally, as a triggered you, as a reaction, will you see the mischief you are up to in your life? The triggered you is the one that is the ego, the little self, the worrier, the fearful self as contrasted with the real self which doesn't worry, doesn't have any fear, and is totally courageous and clear in the face of any seeming adversity or negativity.
Whatever the conversation in your head that occurs during the interaction with somebody else, whatever you go through with anybody is totally hopeless in relationship to the ultimate, real way of being. What is needed and wanted for enlightenment is to allow yourself to see all that stuff and never be involved in it, for a moment. Don't articulate fear, never care what people do to you, don't care about what they think or feel. Let it go, let it be. Whatever you can let be will let you be.
If you finally get to the point where you let it be, after a shouting match and say, 'now I'll let it be'... let it be before it becomes an insanity. You can't do that without loving the other, yourself, the godliness, the egolessness, the selflessness, first, foremost. That's primary focus. You're always selfless. You never feel attacked because in your defenselessness is your safety. When you defend yourself, you are attacked. Both of those come from the Course in Miracles.
People who are in love fail to recognize the supreme duty, to love, and allow the other person unconditional love every moment, no matter what they do or say to us, or what we feel or want from them. When we're like that, we're perfect.
The only thing that will help is to say 'aha, I see. Never again will I react. Never again will I care what anybody does or says. Never again when the airline clerk says "you can't get on the plane," will I scream. I'll say OK." When they say 'we won't give your money back,' I'll say OK fine." We're going to sue you, OK fine. I hate you. You're the worst person. Fine. I don't want to have anything to do with you, fine. No matter what occurs, fine, I love you. It's like you finally give up every emotion and every reaction except one of agreement, love, harmony, creating peace. Whatever creates peace, do that. Whatever does not create peace, don't do that.
For you to talk from now until fifty billion years from now about anything else is a joke on yourself. God doesn't see anything but peace and love and perfect harmony. If that's what God sees, when are you going to be the seer that's only seeing and being what God is and sees. That's the question. Your answer has to be 'now and forever more.'
Whenever the button gets pushed and you start to react, you catch yourself, see it. When you're on it, you're able to get off it, as EST says. If you see yourself being on it and not being able to get off it, then you get off it. But as fast as you can see it, you get off it and get onto love, peace and harmony.
What evolution is, what the path is, is this game. Until you can get to the bottom line, to the refinement and tuning of your consciousness to seeing this is it, there is nothing else to see or do, no other way of being, I will do it, I will practice.
Every fifteen minutes there is an increase in energy. Every fifteen minutes there is an increase in our psychic, cosmic energy that's coming to evolve us that it's being stepped up. There's only one thing for us to do. Surrender. Every time your mind wants to say something, be angry, be upset, don't do it. Be at peace, be in love. Thank God.
Finally, kick your ass into high gear and see you don't have to be driving along in this low gear. You shift into high gear. You no longer need to be the reactor or victim of your own victimization. Say, 'I will no longer be the victim of my own victimizing mind, my own victimizing reactions. Say that instead of "I don't know why they come, I have no control."
There's no such thing as an emotion not being a reaction. They are reactions. Anything that is not a reaction is the action of God, pure peace, pure meditative stillness. There is a way of reacting that is in alignment with the love and peace of God. And there's a way of reacting that is out of alignment. That's what's called negative and positive. You must accentuate the positive, not the negative. You need to get into agreement with God so you can stop that. The only answer is 'I will, I am. Now.' That's not for just this moment, but for every moment that exists. There is nothing but now. If it only happens this moment, and doesn't happen the next moment, when your mate confronts you, then you think there is some other now that's going to occur. You're living in a linear reality which is a lie, an illusion.
Empirically, endlessly, eternally is this now and whatever you consciously commit to and serve has to be continuous, eternal and endless in your way of being. The question is when and why not. Is that a promise? You say yes. Is that never to be gone back on? Yes. Do you agree forever? Yes. My promise is forever. My promise is that I will never be anything but love, giving and serving eternally. It is done. I'm asking you, are you willing to give everything up and do that and be that.
When you say I'm not ready, you're insane and destructive bound and determined to hurt yourself and others in the process. That is the mischief that you're up to. If you cannot start to make your promise and keep your word, and remake it every time that you break your word, I don't want to waste another moment with someone who's unwilling to be happy.
---position that's open and you can be hired as soon as you say 'I will,' and then never go back on your word. When you find yourself breaking your word, you see it and make your promise again. Keep doing that until you are able to serve without ever breaking your word. You are this gigantic, gorgeous person. What are you waiting for? Who are you waiting for? Serve this gorgeous person that you are up on a platter and give it to us.
It means a constant devotion to your vision and your affirmation. You can do it. You will do it. Why not now? That's the question. Why not right now? And show yourself to be the gorgeous being that you are without any self analysis or criticism and when there is criticism you put that aside, knowing that you're going to dump it. But what you don't like in the mirror you don't care. When you think that you're inadequate and not good enough, you don't care. You don't care about any of these thoughts, any of the junk in your mind. You just rely on the reality that you are in the arms of God and you are being taken care of and everything is perfect as it is now. And all you have to do is surrender to God's will which is your true self will, anyway. So why wait? You have everything now. Don't care, don't give in to anything other than that. And never be concerned about yourself. Only take care of others. And your life is perfect and will always be perfect and there is no place to go and you're not going anywhere. It is all perfect right now and always has been.
When I speak like this, I'm reaching out for you to have the experience and reality that I constantly strive to live in myself every minute that I'm alive. That's what I live for, reaching out and yearning to have you experience what I experience all the time with straight forward awareness and attention to being conscious of never giving in to my mind, emotion, inner reaction and my feeling. I only stay with the purpose to live the will of God which is peace, love and harmony and stay in that no matter what occurs externally. I stay in peace, love and harmony and bring myself up to a higher level than my feelings. To get out of how I feel, to how I give and love and embrace everything that's in front of me. Every person, no matter what I feel about them, I embrace. And I love them unconditionally, stop judging, which was the fall in the Garden of Eden. The ego feels pressure. I feel nothing but love. The pressure is that you're living in a material world with an old self. If 20,000 people start tearing at your clothes, you think you're going to die. When you turn to God you allow them to tear your clothes and say 'so what?' If I die I'll be in heaven. I'm in heaven now, so what difference does it make? I'm in heaven now, there will always be heaven. This is the conversation of God. The thing about feeling pressure is the conversation of the ego.
When you shine the light on anything, you let go. You surrender. You be.
The mind constantly makes analysis and thoughts, feelings, ideas. They're all wonderful but don't pay any attention to them. Just let them come and go. You are perfect. You are God. Let all life occur, let everything come and go. Be in the world but not of it.
It's up to you to finally say 'I will practice. This is what I will do. I understand. I hear you. I've read the book. This is what the book says, this is what the gurus say, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, A Course in Miracles. Now, I'm going to practice. If you don't do that and you're still concerned and thinking and involved with what your mind and thoughts are thinking, you're lost and crazy. That's what insanity is. Being concerned.
If you are concerned about what your mind says, you're insane. If you're only concerned about God's teaching, you're sane.
I didn't make this up. It's just the way it is. It's been taught to me; it's what I practice, what I've trained myself to know after 45 years of diligence to the word of God, through 50,000 books and teachers. Until you give up your mind, ego and emotions, -- you're insane.