THE ILLUMINED WAY OF LIVING LIFE
by the MASTER JULES
write us (astrology@earthlink.net ) for more chapters from his book
"I INVENTED THE EGO BECAUSE I FORGOT I WAS GOD"

What state of reality and truth could you use that would allow you complete freedom to be? What does that look like? Where you wouldn't have criticism or correction or a need to know or a judgment of failure or success. Where you wouldn't have an idea that you have reached the ultimate or maybe have not, --- where you wouldn't have a desire to seek something, to have something, to accomplish something?

When we take the 'I' out, the ego, the self, what's left? Isn't there experience? Observation? Isn't there awareness? When you have the 'I' what is there besides observation and awareness and experience?

When the 'I' is there? What is the 'I' doing? Isn't the 'I' remarking? That's what you have to define. The distinction we're making is the difference between living with an 'I' and living without an 'I.'

Living with an 'I' talking to itself, projecting desires, ideas, judgments, knowledge, opinions, and saying 'I know' and I don't know is one condition. And it is opposed to a condition of no 'I', or just a state of being, and awareness, consciousness, observation and experience and participation.

The possibility in participation is choosing to act and create, study, practice and work in the world of your choosing. So choices, then, replace the 'I' wanting.

Here are the two, diametrically opposed thought systems. You have the thought system of the self, the 'I', the ego and you have the thought system of the no-thought, the no-'I' the no-ego, the soul. The 'I' the self, the ego is always projecting itself into 'I' and whatever word follows, 'I want, I like, I don't like.' The soul-ular self, the spirit self, the un-self-conscious self, the one that just is aware, chooses the functions as one who participates in the choice that's in front of them that they most likely gravitate to, not by desire, but by insight, perception, by choice of where they wish to expand their creative energy. This is a very subtle thing. The difference between desire and the idea of spending your energy in the impulse to create and expand and master yourself.

You might say they are both desires but one is a desire coming from the ego self and one is a desire coming from the God self. The distinction that you make is the subtle consciousness of what the difference is.

What is the truth of the reality and the truth about God. If you knew the truth of this reality of this manifested world of your life, your body, your incarnation, of your relationship with your parents, of what's going on and you knew the source of it all and why it all existed, then you'd have the answer to that question.

People like Jesus, Buddha, Pythagoras, Socrates, Whitman, Krishna and all of the thousand books in the Bodhi Tree that give you the picture of the truth from the many enlightened masters and teachers. if you just listen to them and put what they already know... they said 'this is where God is, the Course on Miracles, Conversations with God, Dialogues on Awakening, the Bhagvad Gita, Yogananda, Secret Doctrine, Isis Unveiled, Krishnamurti, Raj Neesh, Maharishi. There are a million sources of beings that have given the answer to all the questions you might have about life. And it's very simple. If I pull out any book and open it, and read it. I'm going to take a book here, o.k. "My teacher told me to hold on to the sentence, "I AM." So I did, for weeks on end, repeating only that and soon I began to see myself as I Am, unbound."

We read only one line out of a book and look, it's telling you what we're discussing. That there is an unbound mind and a 'bounded mind.’ IN other words a mind which is restricted to a limited, self view, as opposed to an unbound, limitless, infinite mind, a mind of God.

So the mind of God versus the mind of self. I said, we could open any one of these books and find what we're talking about so that any one of these books would talk about the same thing. The answer will always be a spiritual answer and the problem will always be a spiritual problem that you're confronting, which is anything that you think about. Anything that exists, whether it's starvation, cancer, education, creativity, relationships, etc. Everything is contained in this domain of working, understanding, participating in a spiritual way the unfettered, unbound infinite mind as opposed to the limited one.

If all these great masters said 'there's only one mind, one God, don't work with the false idols, that's the metaphor. The one God is the God that is the one mind which is the unbound selfless being who you are, who I am, who everyone is. This book is not talking to this one disciple, it's talking to any disciple. This master is talking to any student. That's the purpose of the book.

The purpose of the teachings is to get you to see it's all the same study course, a course in selflessness versus selfishness, mind versus no-mind, attachment versus non-attachment, special relationships versus the only relationship. So when we finally reach enlightenment, it means we have reached a state of no-self, no-need, no-fear, no-worry, no-doubt, and we have reached a state in which we are fearless, courageous, open, surrendered, powerful, creative and one with the source. One with the Father. One with God. That we know I and my Father ARE one. I am the son of God. God only has sons to express himself through, as God is an invisible force that does not manifest as God except through the manifested forms that He has created.

Knowing all this, you know the truth. When you know it, you have to remember it constantly. Forgetting it is only a process of not remembering.

We are here in physical bodies not remembering who we are. Why not? We covered it up because we decided to create. If we had remembered who we were, we wouldn't have come into a body and created any more. We would have stayed where we were in the unbounded, boundless universe, playing in infinite ecstasy without a body. So there are all these answers why we created a body and why we created forgetfulness but the fundamental core of insight is to see what the truth is and who you are in the matter and who God is and your relationship to the whole thing. And when you see that, then you can practice remembering that and then extend your abilities to create because you are the source of creativity because you're the son of God.

Time and space are just vehicles for expression, creativity. They are not real in the sense that time is passing, past present and future and that there is any place you're going to go and get there, because you're already there as the source of time and space, source and creativity. That's who you are. Creativity and the creations are only manifestations of your ability and reality that you are that Creator, that you are 'I Am.'

You are an infinite point. You are everywhere simultaneously. The only difference is that you're coming out of a body, with eyes, ears, mind and ideas that you forgot were relative. You should have remembered that it was only a vehicle in which to see, hear and express yourself in an infinite manner, but that wasn't YOU. There's not you and me here, there's only God here. There's only one of us here. There's no separation.

You are moving into a capacity to remember and so then the discipline becomes that I am God, I am the source, I am one, I am open, I am powerful, I am not my thoughts, my body, my reactions, my fears, I am not the past, I am not my desires, I am not anything. I am always 'I Am." Then, the possibilities become infinite for you to practice remembering each moment, now, now, now, now. It's always now. There was no now, then, and there is no now coming, there is only the now, now. And the always now is where you get to remember, I am that I am.

So what is the truth of the whole manifested reality and the truth of God? Say it. It is not going to be in your thoughts. The indescribable, ineffable reality that I am that I am and I can only know it because I am it. Because I'm willing to be it.

There are obstacles down the road, each moment, waiting for us in the limited world of time and space, that will make us forget. When you think about eating, about money for the rent? What's going to being your way is that you're going to forget to practice mindfulness, awareness, sensitivity and insight into staying in the state of remembering that 'I am awake, aware and a Creator and a chooser of my life.'

We forget because when the rent needs to be paid, we start to worry about paying it rather than say 'I'm the chooser of my life, now I'm going to choose to paint a wonderful painting of my garden. Or I’m going to ask my rich brother to pay it while I pain, and get the rent, and later sell the painting and pay him back. Or I'm going to call my landlady and say 'I don't have the rent, but I will have it soon.' And go and create that cash.

So the problem is, when we don’t handle the rent imaginatively, we get out of the mode of being the creator of your life into the reaction to life and then you become one of those parts of the ego again, of the self which is fear, anger, doubt, worry, anxiety whatever problem occurs and you become part of it.

You have forgotten your word which is to be God in the Universe, to be your word as law in the universe. Your awareness and your actions are LAW in the universe. So what law do you want to act out? The law of being God, I am the beyond infinite being? Powerful, creative, aware, sensitive, unselfish, perfectly relating and giving and serving? Oh Yes. When I don't know who I am, I serve you. When I've forgotten that I am God, I just serve anybody. Higher up the tree is to serve one who serves God. But when I remember who I am, I am You. I am out painting in the garden. And when I do, everyone serves you. They bring you sandwiches. They bring your coat.

Schizophrenia is trying to be someone else’s viewpoint. You think you are the other person, you are the landlord that wants the rent. What a state! Or you are the rent that needs to be paid. Or the poor uneducated man in the mirror fretting that he didn’t get a college degree. Worst of all. No! Stop with the schizophrenia. You are the one who needs to be aware, quiet, joyful, relaxed and just create!

You are the one that has to study and practice and experience and master yourself. You are the one that came here to bring Heaven on earth. You are the one to be healthy, happy and holy. You are the one who is going to accomplish your desires because your desires accomplished are different than your desires wanting to be accomplished. You stay out of the self that wants and you go to the self that creates.

Buddha said the cause of our suffering is desire and the cause of all desire is ignorance. He didn't mean what you desire is the cause of all suffering and he did not say accomplishing those desires is the cause of all suffering. He was saying desire is the cause of sorrow because he was saying that if you're still wanting something it means you don't have it and you certainly are going to be suffering when you don't have what you want so you better have what you want, create what you want. Go out in the garden and paint. You’ll have it!

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In a nutshell, the physical body is a result of our habits, what we do to it, emotionally, physically, and nutritionally. Whatever habits we put into motion, that's what the physical body becomes and demands. And addiction to any subject like sugar, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, eating dead bodies or fried crispy junk food is the body demanding to have what is already circulating through its blood.

There is a corresponding, Pavlovian phenomenon occurring with the body's bloodstream and its desires. The body has desires. If you put white sugar in it every day the bloodstream has that chemistry make-up from those products and it's saying I want more of this. The body demands whatever you put into it. That's called addiction. You put nicotine into your body your bloodstream demands more. Alcohol, it wants it everyday. Pot every day, that THC is stored and at a certain time of day, your body's physical demands say 'I want pot.' Emotionally and psychologically, you also get addicted because you want that feeling that pot, sugar or caffeine gives you. Whatever it gives you, that little lift, that false chemical stimulation which wears off very quickly, you want another bite of sugar, shot of heroin, another drink of champagne because damnit, it wears off!

The bloodstream has less than you had when you took the big hit so you want that big hit again and it's on and on until finally your body is acclimated to only having that and it says 'I like coffee, alcohol, cigarettes. That's why I smoke or drink that. I need it to get my day going." Then there's the opposite. The clean machine idea. Being totally de-toxed and only putting pure raw foods in there. Then, your body demands to feel that health and power. You do two hours of yoga and you get addicted to it. Your body wants to stretch, have its muscles feel that surge, that energy you get from breathing and exercising or eating good clean foods and your body doesn't want to get any junk in it. When it eats grease, meat, white flour or something that congests it, it doesn't feel right, it gets a stomach ache. It gets a tooth ache and you say, "I don't want that feeling." It's just the opposite. All these feelings and reactions physically and nervous system wise and emotionally, are all demands coming from our habit patterns, our style of life, our way of being physically.

THE STEERING WILL - Being able to make changes, to go from lifestyle to another, is an awareness program. You have to pay attention, discipline, detox, you have to go into an absolute attention level of awareness where you're willing to sacrifice something negative for something more positive. Where you're willing to see that you are cause in the matter, that your will is all that is occurring. The exercise of your will. If your will says I will smoke, I'm going to get high every day. Then, your will creates that demand. If your will says 'I'm going to stop this, not eat junk, inside of two weeks of quitting smoking, you won't have the desire and demand from your bloodstream, for that nicotine. The same with everything. It's will that causes you to create a particular way of living. You have to change your will to change your lifestyle and to have a change of will, you have to be courageous enough to make these amazing, conscious choices for something that you now don't do, or to stop something you do and the conscious choice to have your will be powerful. It's not self will, it's really the will of intelligence, spirituality, conscious knowledge that has changed your way of thinking. Then, you exercise that self-determination by having a goal, a vision and making promises and keeping those promises. An artist says 'I'm going to be a musician, a painter, a computer genius, an architect. You go to school, do your lessons and are totally a vigilant warrior of change or accomplishment. That's how you change your habits. It comes from attention.

The only way any answer to any problem will help to shift the problem into a solution is to actually take the bull by the horns and make a conscious decision to change the cause of something. You actually have to move the great ship of state called your life into a new direction by changing the cause. If you're going in one direction, you change your steering wheel to the left, you go left. Your steering wheel is your will. We should call it the STEERING WILL. It's important to realize that you have your hands on it. Whatever direction you move that will in is the direction you'll go in. If you're sick and you want to get well, the answer is in front of you. It says 'you do this, and you don't do that. You change your will to do that instead of your will do champagne, alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. You change your will to do raw foods, juice fasting, water, cleansing, exercise, meditation and massage and healing. That's how you steer your will in the direction of being healthy instead of being the victim of your habits.

You get tired of being the victim of your habits, you will start to make the changes. When you don't want to suffer anymore, you make the changes. Remember, it's not the suffering that's the problem. The problem is the cause of the suffering. Desire, as Buddha said, was the cause. He also said that the cause of desire was ignorance. If you're ignorant, you can never overcome your desires. You have to get the wisdom and then you say 'ahhh, I don't want to be that anymore.' Because that desire was taking you down this road to suffering whereas if I get rid of that desire and become centered, calm, desireless you become nonattached, you go the middle way, you're not attached to anything. You stop suffering because you're only devoted to being still, being whole, being open, being quiet, being peaceful and satisfied without those things that gnaw at you called desires. So wisdom and enlightenment, knowledge, joy, peace, happiness come from being still and aware and paying attention and not having to have anything. Not having to drink, eat, overeat, have sex, shop, have money, have cars, adulation, not having to have anything... allows you real peace of mind which takes you into having the power to create, to be the creator, to be quiet and still and meditative, the power to be happy within yourself without having anything needful to create that happiness. Where you actually are the creator of the happiness, just out of nothing, just out of being happy.

You have that possibility, that capability as potential but if you don't move your potential into actualization and participation and creating your other possibility every day by your conscious awareness of being disciplined in the way that bring you joy and peace, then you're the victim of the chaos of your mind, of the undulations of desire and the being pulled different directions like someone who has no control. You have all the potential for control but you must use it, exercise your will and eventually it gets to be God's will as it's the will of peace, the will of selflessness, the will of giving up your self will, giving up your desires, and that's why we call it God's will because it's the will of your soul self, your spiritual self, your higher self, your conscious self, your being. The will of that is God's will because that's where we unify ourselves with the spirit, soul, cosmos, higher power, source of our life. When we unify ourselves with that, it's God's will. Not MY will but THY will. So we have all those spiritual and religious metaphors which come into play which are the truth about our being, that we're not just some individualized personality self to play our role on the stage and then we're done. To be or not to be. To be means to see ourselves in the bigger picture, as part of the cosmic dance, to see ourselves as one with the father, one with God, with love, with everyone, selfless, instead of running around the world like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to find itself. You have your head on and see that you already are, you have already been found. You've always been o.k. even when you weren't OK. Because it was leading you to seeing that you're one with the universe. I and my father are one. There are no problems. I just surrender myself to the higher power and allow myself to learn and get better and perfect myself because I am already perfect. My hand is already in the hand of God. We're one; we're joined. I receive other things when I open myself up to being receptive.

All your projects visions, goals for yourself in life get accomplished easily when you're healthy, happy, peaceful. When you're not bothered by your nervous system, and by illness. When you don't wake up feeling awful and you have to drink five cups of coffee and smoke five joints and drink a fifth of scotch to feel like you're happening. When you don't have to do any of that anymore and you just get up and feel good, and feel vibrant and go and attack what you need to do to accomplish that day's mission, work, to bring you fulfillment in your projects, then your life works.

Like Alan Watts said, you're not going anywhere and there's no place to go. The only place to go is inside yourself and be peaceful and then everything gets accomplished, in its own way, in its own time, in the best way, in the best time.

If you stop avoiding being happy and healthy and well and really aware and conscious..... If you stop avoiding doing that, then what happens is that your life becomes a process of being focused on that. When your life is focused on accomplishment, health, joy and peace.. when your motivations are to create that every day by your own will, willing it, by your own mind consciously choosing it, by your own processes of seeing what it takes not to disturb the body and the mind, by bad habits and old habits and an old model and an old paradigm that you've been living for hundreds of years, thousands of lifetimes or a few years. When you put that aside, dump it, and stop avoiding the things that bring you joy, then you are on the train riding it in the direction it's going. The old saying, 'if you don't change the direction in which you're going, you will most likely end up where you're headed' probably should be 'if you don't change the direction in which you're headed, you're going to end up where you're headed and most do, end up in sickness, disease and death instead of happiness, joy and longevity and accomplishment because they all end up by where they're headed by their habits, by their old way of being. So you have to change that, stop that, be the new person, have new bottles for new wine.

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For the work, you have to throw everything out that is there impeding you, the dirty house, bad food, cigarettes, alcohol, coffee. You must eliminate it, throw it out of your fridge. Throw the cigarettes in your pocket away, into the garbage because you'll be tempted to drink that coke, take that cigarette, eat that junk food, drink that coffee. You have to clean your environment to have a clean environment and the clean environment allows you to function with a new bottle. You don't put new wine into this old bottle as the old bottle contains burgers, chips, coffee, pies, ice cream, coffee, champagne, cocaine, heroin, pot and to put the new wine in that bottle, it would just be contaminated by those things that are all around you. The new wine must be an environment of healthfoods, clean foods, breathing, yoga, the beach, happiness, meditation, reading, communicating with those we know, being in the different atmosphere. That's the new bottle. It's up to you. You have to make that choice. You can't say 'oh, I'll do it tomorrow. I'm going to throw this food out tomorrow. I'm gonna drink this coke. This is my last one. My last cigarette. My last cup of coffee. Baloney! You can say that every time and you will never quit. Every piece of pie can be your last piece so you can say that every time you eat it. And someone says to you, 'oh, I thought you gave up eating white sugar.' You answer 'oh no, this is the last time I'm going to eat it.' Then the next time you smoke. 'Oh I thought you'd quit." "Oh, this is my last cigarette."

That's the rationalization, that's the complete avoidance of denial that you are not doing it. The only time you are not doing denial is when you're aware and conscious but you're not doing it, now. Period. And now, now, now, now, now. You're a warrior for this conscious choice that you're going to make to be healthy, happy and holy.

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The last chapter. This is the final word is the beginning of your life. It's the beginning of joy, happiness. It's the beginning because you finally discover that love is not something that is unconditional, objective, impersonal love, nor is it being in love. It is both of those things. It's unconditional, objective, impersonal love and being totally in love with your spiritual, real self. And how it manifests is you start to have this overwhelming feeling of love for yourself. You've always had unconditional love, benign goodness toward everyone when you give up your ego and see everyone as yourself. That's an easy thing to practice. The difficult one is to finally fall in love with yourself. If you remember the moments when you fell in love with another person, with your mate, your lover --- when you fell in love with them, it was overwhelming. You couldn't wait to say to them 'I love you, you're wonderful, I can't stand it a moment without you, I want you to be here every minute. I just love you so much, you are so beautiful, I love you so much, Ohhhh." and that is the love that you have to start saying to yourself. I love you so much. You are so beautiful. You are such a good person, I can't stand to be without you for a moment, you're so wonderful. That's what you start seeing in yourself. You start knowing that's who God is, that person you love you so much. It's YOU. It's not some external God, it's not some anthropomorphic God, it's not some cosmic God, some spiritual, philosophic, conceptual God or some feeling, projecting whatever it is about God, not reading about God, not meditating, not even practicing adoring and worshipping God but actually being in LOVE with God, which is your true self. When you do that, it's like an exercise. Now, if your life has troubles, this exercise will make you fill up with an overwhelming compassion about the quandary you're in, how dear you are, how much you're suffering and how you carelessly put this beloved little person into this much trouble, into this much bad health, or into such a precarious financial state, and when you feel that love you suddenly become heroic. You feel this overwhelming compassion for yourself and that motivates you to rescue your GOD self from this suffering, and you VOW to do it with the strongest of emotional intents. Also, when you get those negative, emotional pain feelings, they must be incinerated in the acknowledgement that this too shall pass and the higher self will prevail. Incinerate the pain that way before you go to sleep each night and vow to be kinder to your God self the next morning.

Now, if your life is more balanced, and you play the falling in love with yourself exercise, it's really enjoyable. You'll find that you start to smile, and glow and you start to get that warm feeling and you start to get that joy just as if you had your soul mate sitting beside you, or in your bed, or in your car or going in a vacation together or kissing or hugging, you have that same feeling for yourself and it becomes overwhelming and you start to see that THIS is what was missing, all the time! That the only thing that was missing, when we studied all the spiritual things, we learned all the moral things, all the right things, the righteous things to do, the selfless, egoless things to do, we studied EST and the Course in Miracles, Science of Mind, Zen, Buddhism, Gurdgieff, Yogi Bhajan's Kundalini yoga and all the practices to give ourselves peace and well being but we never did the final act of falling in love with ourselves which is pure joy, pure nectar, pure ambrosia of spiritual wonderment overcoming you, that you feel so wonderful. You drive your car, or you sit alone, you practice your instrument, you type your letters, you go to the post office, you make your dinner, you talk to other people but all the time you're doing it, you're saying and feeling inside yourself, I love you so much, you are so beautiful, I'm so grateful, so blessed, so happy to know finally that I love myself and I feel so good about myself that I'm in ecstasy and bliss, this very moment.

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The first thing that the mind wants to do is to show you all the mistakes you made, and to show you all the mistakes you MAKE by seeing how other people aren't living up to your expectations, how other people screw you, how others take advantage, how others cannot do anything but be selfish. But that's the way it is until THEY fall in love with themselves. They can't be any other way as they haven't fallen in love with themselves yet. They're looking to fall in love. All our lives is about is the pursuit of love which looks like money, fame, fortune, sex, beauty and a relationship. It's all erroneous because that will never be because love, money, a relationship, fame or fortune will only turn out to be a false expectation because after you have all that, you will still not be satisfied, you will still not be in peace and you will still not have the bliss and the nectar of loving oneself. Now, as long as you are over infatuated and in love with somebody else, you can neglect yourself completely because you're totally taking care of somebody else. Oh my darling, I love you so much, I'm going to take care of you and every moment you go to work and you think about her and you do all your work and make all your money and devote every moment to taking care of that other person and then a child comes and you devote all your time and energy to taking care of that child but you see it all ends up in disappointment. The other person leaves you or disappoints you or doesn't live up to your expectations or you get tired of them and the infatuation wears off and what you call in love is no longer there, or the child grows up and becomes a dunce or just as wonderful and goes on their own, you cannot possess any other person. The only thing that you can possess forever is this state of consciousness called 'in love with God, yourself.' That's the only state that will last, the one that you create to last, the one that you are. See, you all already are this. You have to assume and know and realize who you already are. You already are God. You already are a self. And you already are the one to love. You just have neglected that part of yourself which is to love yourself completely, unconditionally.

Putting your eggs in somebody else's basket or having somebody put their eggs in your basket is wonderful as long as you're conscious that you are God in the universe. That everything is one. As long as you know 'I am you, I serve you, I love you. ' When you know that, you know God and you know yourself but you must write the final chapter which is to love yourself completely and because of that love, NEED nothing! All your needs are met. Everything is done. It's all faith in the completion of the final chapter which is 'everything is wonderful. It's perfect just like it is.'

Perfect just like it is. And then every step that you take from then on, unto infinity of eternality becomes this permanent, now condition of loving oneself and just stepping out and never being bothered, never being reactionary, never being negative, never being hurt by anything ever again. Just showing your love. Being that love. And the faster you love yourself, the more you love yourself, the more intensely you fall in love with yourself, the more you will grow in your power to handle all outside conditions which are only the laboratory, the school room, the education place in which you learn to love yourself more and more.

When you fall in love with something else, money, success, fame, fortune, another person, that is wonderful, that's just an extension of your living yourself condition where you have no prejudice, no selfishness, no possessiveness, no obsessiveness, you only have complete freedom and no expectations. You give complete freedom, you give someone total access to anything. They want to vacation alone, wonderful. They want to have sex with someone else? Wonderful. What is sex but a piece of cake that you enjoy eating. You can enjoy cake tomorrow, ice cream tomorrow, the next day mangoes. That's sex. And there's nothing wrong with giving people total freedom if they want that. If they don't want freedom, if they want to be yours only, that's OK. too. Whatever way it is --- is wonderful but the acceptance of loving oneself completely allows you to accept all others exactly the way they are and exactly the way they're NOT so that you can be in harmony with them.

If things go wrong and you get poor and down and out, you're not negative. You see what to do. You go out and get the job, you get the new career. You get the new girlfriend, the new house, the new city, the new place. You learn the new talents. You become the new healthy person. You change like a chameleon because you're constantly in love with yourself, protective of yourself so that you see what is needed and wanted for you to function in the world.

You're in the world but not of it. You're not negative about it. You're not a reaction to it. You're never hurt even when the old habit of being hurt comes, you see it. Someone says you did THIS AND THAT and you know you didn't, that you were in the right but they didn't see it, so you say 'oh you didn't see the good I was trying to do. But you're right. I should have known what YOU saw. I will now attempt to see what you see, you're right." Apologize, appreciate the lesson they're teaching you. Say Thank you.

When you're living in this state of bliss, then you're not tempted anymore by anything externally. You present yourself as the lover of yourself and you don't tell people that you're in love with yourself as they'd think you were narcissistic or egotistical or stupid. You just act this way.

When you see somebody who's joyous all the time, these are very special people. Even though they don't know it, there's something about them, that if you look closely, you'll see they love themselves very much. They enjoy their own company very much, who they are. They love doing what they do very much and that's one of the secrets of spirituality, this falling in love. All spiritual teachings end up with 'I love myself as I am as I am all that is.'

Oh, so simple. You just have to give up concern, worry, anxiety about anything. It's all so simple. You are coming into the age ---after millions of years of evolution- where mankind and especially me and you are going to give up all concern forever and just live in the moment, blissed out. That's why drugs became so big. Nobody could do this without drugs. But now, everybody has to do it because it's the reality. It's the real reality outside of materiality, outside of physicality. It's the only reality. It's the reality of what it says in Conversation with God, 'everybody goes to heaven. Hitler went to heaven.'

So let's say, all my life I've been pursuing this spiritual path and I've learned everything, disciplines, truths, but it was always the same thing. But inside that spiritual truth is one truth, love, love of God but that's airy-fairy, a mystery. Love and love of God is still a mystery. What the mystery is, happens to be that love of God is love of oneself. What happened is that after all these years of being a disciplined, spiritual person, reading, practicing all these moral principles and yogic and eastern, spiritual, Cosmic Christ consciousness things, I'm driving my car and all of a sudden, I start to feel a glow. What I'm feeling is LOVE. But the kind of love I'm feeling is like when I've been in love with someone. What that feeling was --- was being in love with myself! And I started to glow and say 'hey, I really love myself. You are wonderful. I love you so much,' like you would be talking to the newest infatuation in your life that you're head over heels hot for, and you're saying 'you are so beautiful that I can't stand to be a moment without you.' I was saying that to myself and feeling like I was saying it to that one, that beautiful lady.

I discovered that loving oneself is not just 'I love myself as I am because I am all that is,' as Brother Charles says, but it's actually doing that. Loving yourself, falling in love with yourself and being in love with yourself in such a way that you know that you are the final solution and it's the final chapter and all you have to do is stay in that state just like you'd have to stay in that state if you were going to have a mate you were going to love forever. You would have to cultivate and engender that state forever. So that's it.

When you get it, it's 'aha! No more I know I'm OK and I'm at peace and I'll do yoga and I'll practice my disciplines and I'll be doing my music or art or whatever you do that makes you feel good, calm, peaceful, that takes you away from the world's insanity, but it's the next step beyond that which is that you do everything in the world and not in the world, with this state of being in love. Not in love with someone or something. It's being IN LOVE. It's more than words, more than a feeling, it's something that you constantly have to engender by practicing that self watching, self admiring and self remembering.

We get to play the piano well by sitting down and practicing the piano. Well, you have to practice this being in love by watching yourself as you go about your day and smiling and feeling glowing and feeling bliss, and telling yourself, talking to yourself, being in that love state and not listening to the mind when it starts criticizing.

The only thing that's in the way of having everything that you could possibly envision in your imagination, or that you could want for yourself and your life, the only thing that's in the way is your own mind. Your own thoughts, habits which are all part and parcel of that thing called the temporal you. You in this programmed reality of a lifetime. So to change the finite you, to the infinite you, you have to change your mind, change your habits and way of being. To do that, you have to practice

the way you want to be, the way you want to live, the way you want to serve the God that you are, that God's interests, and the patterns, talents and manifestations that you wish to have show up in your life. You actually have to create them. And since you're the creator, there's nothing to it except creating. So the process of creating has to be your whole and sole focus every minute that you are alive.

We get deterred and sidetracked by circumstances and situations that we have to take care of but even those are an opportunity for creating it the way we want it. All those things are just stimuli to make certain that we can do it, regardless of circumstances and conditions. That's the big hurdle. The excuse that I can't do it because.' Instead of that, jumping the hurdle is 'I can do it because I'm the creator.' Before you said, "I can't do it because I'm at the effect of circumstances and the situation' and now when you jump the hurdle into being in the truth, in the light of the way things can be accomplished, the hurdle jump is I can be, I can do because I am the creator. I am the power because I am the source of it all. I am the one who creates.

Any other emotions, feeling, circumstance that you have ingrained into your life must be stopped. As any addiction that you might try to overcome must be stopped. The only cure for addiction as we know it is abstinence.

If the line that I made up is true, which is I created insecurity because I forgot I was the creator, then that applies to everything. I created unhappiness because I forgot that I was the creator of happiness. I created poverty, loneliness, being sad, because I forgot I was the most powerful, joyful being in the universe. I forgot that miracles are not difficult because miracles are our natural way of creating every moment.

I create the sun, Jupiter a galaxy, the ocean, then I swim in the ocean, then I fly, then I make love, then I lie on the hot sand, then I go in the sauna, then I make a delicious meal, then I eat the delicious meal. It's ecstasy, it's overwhelming, it's too fantastic it can't be real. But yes, it is real. It's not too fantastic. It's natural. It's always been that way only I forgot because I thought I didn't deserve anything because I wasn't worth it. I wasn’t fabulous enough, not talented enough, not born in the right circumstances to deserve it.

So now, it's happening to me, love is happening to me, beauty is happening to me, people are great to me, life is wonderful. I've had these great opportunities, everything comes my way, I don't deserve it, how can it be this great? That's crazy because the truth is you deserved everything and everything IS wonderful. Everything's OK even when it's not OK. Not okay is just a point of view, an opinion, a judgment which keeps you in denial of fact that everything is wonderful and you are the creator of it and you are also the recipient of your creations. You get the gifts. You get to enjoy the gifts. So this is not an exercise in philosophy or spirituality, it's an exercise in practicality. It's the practice of spirituality and love and well-being that you get to do because you are the doer. You're not the phantom called the deed. Like that. You actually are the doer that creates the deed. But sometimes we think of ourselves only and we become the phantom called the doer who doesn't create any deeds. We're just a doer sitting on a log without action, then we become the phantom called the doer. And the deed is invisible because it never shows up. You have to become the doer of the deed. The doer of your life. It's not an admonition 'you must become.' You have no other choice. But if you don't see that you don't have any other choice, you constantly make a choice for opinion, berating yourself, defending yourself, putting yourself down, not being worthy, not seeing yourself as totally being worthy and loved and forgiven for anything disharmonious in the past. you're forgiven for that because it was only an error in perception. All anyone wants is reassurance. all you want to do is be reassured that this is true, that God exists, that I'm a part of it that I and my father are one. Once you know and live as a non-smoker, you don't have to be reassured that you're not addicted to cigarettes. You already are a non-smoker after three weeks or three years that you haven't smoked, you have the power to remain a non-smoker for eternity. Once you gain the same state of consciousness about alcohol, drugs, overeating, you can then transfer that to the understanding that you're God in the universe. Your word is law in the universe. You can be happy all the time. You can be reassured that if you're happy today, tomorrow and the next three weeks, that you can continue that for eternity. You can be assured. You have obtained the level of knowing that you are the creator of that. The creator of not smoking. The creator of breathing exercises, the creator of slimming, doing yoga, of a healthy body, of health, happiness. The final loving of oneself, falling in love with oneself, is to know that you are assured happiness if you will stay with the true essence of your nature which is nothing and nowhere and can't be seen and can't be found but is certainly YOU. As you are the one who knows, sees, feels and finds everything out about the entire universe as you travel the galaxies.

The power of awareness give you the potential for transforming all things by transforming your own use of energy, by seeing everything as light, by putting the positive into the negative, by being a buffer for everything that is out of synch and balance, by sending the energy of balance and harmony wherever it's out. So you become a Boddhisattva, a saint, a Christ, a Buddha when you do that. That's how they worked. They were people who sent this energy out and were never buffeted and hurt by any of the energy coming. They just turned lead into gold. They turned hate into love. That's what turning the other cheek means, metaphorically.

If someone is willing, they can and should be helped, assisted, guided, to get the information because all they have to do is act and open themselves to acceptance and receive the information, therapy or healing and just keep on receiving and being in that mode of getting but---- the big BUT is, we're talking about the reality that you're not willing to remove yourself from the condition that created the problem because you're not willing to remove from yourself, your way of being which is habituated into creating those problems. So, the understanding is not to complain or see the solution or know what the answer is. No. The problem is to permanently take your consciousness and adapt it to the way of being of a true student, or disciple, one who is willing every minute to practice this work. And when you make a mistake or forget or don't keep your word, or your mind takes over, you remake the vow. You see that you failed and you go back to the program. You're in a school and you go every day to class but some days you don't wake up and you miss and then you remake your promise and the next day you're there at ten o'clock.

That's the way it is to give up anything that's in the way of your happiness, I refer to your addition to substances, your unhappiness, your addiction to nervousness. You can't change those things. You can't change conditions or habits. But you can change your willingness to change. If you have a willingness to change, then that's the school that starts in the morning and goes on 24 hours a day. You're in this new school which says I am willing to change. The work is to look at what there is to change. The way you eat, your habits, the way you clean the house, the way you talk, react, your desires, compulsions, obsessions, the way your addictions are. You see them clearly and each moment you take the bull by the horns and say 'no.' And when you fail and react and are out of control and can't help yourself, you get back in control and say 'ah, I failed, I will forgive myself and remake my promise and now I'm going to do it better.' Like exercise. Everyone wants to work out, eat right, meditate and be calm. Just to exercise you have to say at this hour I'm going to do that, do the stretches, do the yoga, do the breathing exercise, drink fresh juice, not eat junk, or coffee, I'm going to fast. Every time the coffee mill is there, you say 'no. ' Every time the chocolate do-nut is there, you say 'no, I'm going to change. I'm not going to eat those any more.' And not as a future --- but in the present, in the holy instant, this very moment, and the healing that takes place, from the pain, anxiety, fear, the healing from the addiction takes place in the instant that you know that you're healed, that there is no pain, no longing, just a temporary condition that you created before which doesn't exist now. Right now, it doesn't exist. Nothing exists except this ability to listen and know you're healed that you have no needs, and everything is perfect, right now. So you continue this moment by constant attention and awareness to this truth that you're whole, that you're healed, this painless state.

When you don't pay attention to the circumstance, to the material world, to your body, to your problems, to the conditions, ---when you pay attention to your consciousness, to your being, wholeness, oneness with eternality, your oneness with the Source of all creation and know that it is in you and is you, then you start to get a handle on the levers and dials which move the great ship of state called your life, your conditions.

If you constantly try to move the great ship of state, and change the conditions without having your hands on the levers and dials, which is this internal state of knowing you are one with the source and that this instant is the only place where you can say 'I am whole, I am healed, I am OK, everything is fine,' and you go on from that, then you will start to create nothing but harmony. You will start to create conditions which please you, which permanently allow you peace and prosperity, harmony and happiness. Painfree, hate free. You don't hate yourself, you don't hate others, you don't hate what happened to you. You start to see that you're the creator of it all and you gotta love yourself and treat yourself better. You know all these metaphors. Knowing doesn't help. You have to practice them, surrender everything except to look at yourself as cause in the matter. That cause and effect are one thing. All created from you by you for you and for everything in the universe. It's all interconnected and interrelated. You must have the willingness as an addict to say OK, Guru, God, Brother, Friend, Therapist, Hospital, help me, show me, teach me, I am in your hands. As you do that, and you surrender yourself to the inner power, the inner knowing, the voice of the Silence, the voice of the source, your own higher self, to reading the book, to meditating, to doing the practices, to getting the techniques..... they're all available. Each minute we live in this eternal now, we can be doing a particular technique whether it's art, exercise or cleaning. It doesn't matter what it is but if you do it with impeccability and attention to the detail of the thing that the technique is about, whether it's a yoga exercise or writing... or cooking a dinner ... but if you pay attention to doing that and being happy with that, then the next moment takes care of itself and the next moment. You don't choose things like coffee, sugar, cocaine and junk food because you know they have this adverse reaction and throw you out of the here and now, and make you think negative thoughts and hate yourself. And there goes the game, the only game in town. The only game you want to play. The practice of being one with God.

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