A little personality quirk like Passive aggression seems such a harmless little personality tick but it can explode into a dangerous stuff if it is accompanied by huge levels of rage and aggression, and a third element, the scariest one of all: NARCISSISM.
If you have a loved one whom you suspect has a self involved or ‘narcissistic’ personality, it might be helpful if you could read a description of those personality characteristics. They are listed in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” published by the American Psychiatric Association.
Criteria For Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), the need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following syndromes:
1) A grandiose sense of self-importance- someone who exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
2) Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or love.
3) Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions.
4) Requires excessive admiration.
5) A sense of entitlement—unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
6) Interpersonally exploitative—takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends. Feels that others should serve him.
7) Lacks empathy—is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
8) Often is envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her. (Author’s note: This of course is a deluded narcissist. But even a degenerated, incompetent narcissist has these status issues and lives in the continual fear of all the scorekeeping going on. I.e. ‘I keep score, they keep score, everyone is keeping score of the Status quotient.’ The most upset narcissist is one who feels his status, qualities, talents, IQ and his ‘cume’ are all not strong enough. That he’s deficient for even his own requirements. This one fears that, (suspects that) the world may get ‘on’ to his deficiencies. That is an extremely touchy narcissist. So Number eight is about ‘counting’ keeping score of status.
9) Shows arrogant, haughty behavior or attitudes.
REMIND YOU OF ANYONE YOU KNOW? Remember, it only takes FIVE of these 9 to qualify as a narcissist.
If these self involved qualities are combined with aggression, especially overt physical aggression, you have the formula for a dangerous, sociopath and a violent person. Dangerous to others. Add some degree of stupidity, and you may even have a reactive bully who beats his family up or in a woman, she suddenly SLUGS somebody in rage, often parents or weak people, seniors.. Add sexual psychopathy to all of the above, you getthe serial murderer.
Aggression by itself, without narcissism, is not as dangerous. Many aggressive people know what others feel so they are capable of repenting after hurting, and slowly gaining a desire not to hurt people. A narcissist does not know or care what others feel. He’s numb to empathy. That is why, when this element is added to other quirks, you can get dangerous people who shouldn’t be on the street.
Spring of 2011, the Head of the IMF was at a posh, NYC hotel, came out of shower naked, found the CHAMBERMAID bent over his bed. He tried to rape her, but was there sociopath intent or had he just spaced out, assumed it was the usual callgirl in the chambermaid costume that he’d ordered thousands of times over his life. Was it an Alzheimer-y ‘senior moment’ or the behavior of a rogue elephant?
I studied a color photo which was online of IMF's Strauss holding Bush Jr’s hand. I noted that the IMF CHIEF's super pale/ white hand, seen in the photo (which you can google image) compared to the obviously bright red hand of W BUSH was a clear indication of poor capillaryaction in the extremities, i.e. hands, feet and BRAIN. Maybe the part he exposed to hotel maid isn't considered an extremity by the body. Some seniors, when they start to fade, all the engorgement left is THERE. Nature's attempt to squeeze the last piece of biological toothpaste out of the tube. Progeny at all cost. This poor guy gets out of shower, comes into his hotel room naked, and that gorgeous Latina maid is there? Dressed in the maid costume? He'd done that play-acting a thousand times before with hookers, so why can't this be considered NOT GUILTY by reason of TEMPORARY INSANITY?
As a healer of minds, it is important for you to treat the underlying organic condition sometimes, not just take loony behavior as a natural criminal, sociopath tendency and assume an aberrated mind. That IMF boss needs a stroke prevention diet to get capillaries clear up there. And down there. Exercise with supplements like cayenne and niacin to clear out the clog.
Narcissism is a bother by itself, but if there’s chronic, unresolved rage, alongside it, watch out!Relative to the dangers of this modern world, I’m certain we’re all holding a mental picture from recent headlines, things like Kozynski planting bombs, or the Atlanta park where someone planted bombs in a crowd. Then there are people who shoot guns inside McDonalds, or from atop the clock tower, killing hundreds of students at Texas university (it happened in the fifties, we oldies remember that one.) You would remember all the students who shoot up schools anually, or kill the teachers..
Ihave some small experience with lunacy gained through my son who now is in a state mental hospital. His only symptom was passive aggression, and that only for the year before his entry into Patton Hosp (His arson of boss’s SHED to signal a flight path to landing planes (he thought) gave the state the ability to grab him and medicate him, for which I’m grateful for now I’m told that if the delusionary paths in the brain are allowed to grow deep and wide, with time, they are more irreversible.
In his year of covert aggression, at home, he was also classically paranoid, often delusional. But never violent. Aggressive, yes, but in the mild, quirky way that I describe in the piece the “SEMINAR ON HOW TO BE A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.”
When my son crashed and burned, he gave up the car and apartment, he came to live with me. He didn’t eat/ sleep normally. He was quirky about food, tried to be vegan and eat soy grits, salad and water. Then he’d top that off with Dutch beer. When he had to sell his costly car, he’d ride around the city on bikes. Our city is 40 miles end to end, so it was a lot of riding! He would get so tired that he’d be delusional. And he’d hold onto those crooked ‘views’, that there were Bigfoot apes in the canyons that there was a werewolf under the bridge.(Thoughts a 10 year old might have but he was in his mid twenties!) Skewed though these beliefs were, they had come upon him when he was delusional and when he’d rested and eaten, and was NOT delusional, he still believed the ‘truth’ of what he’d seen. He incorporated them into his VIEW of reality!
ALL those STUPID, TIMID NEUROTICS that I described in the second half of the article on PA’s ? They are probably variations of the classic “covert” or “TIMID” agressive that the WEBSITE I mentioned has on it. The polite, civilized version of P.A. that most doctors meet.
THEN there is this OTHER GROUP of crazies, the sociopaths who make life on earth a misery. They are SMART neurotics who are NOT TIMID (Boston Strangler, Ted Bundy, The Hillside killers of L.A. Bianchi and Buono who accosted two of my pals, Sally and Diana who were witnesses. Sally ran naked thru streets of W. Hollywood.) These bozos are not only overtly aggressive but also total narcissists. So let’s separate those two bunches right there. SHY AGGRESSIVE AND BOLD AGGRESSIVE.
Now, we stand up all the timid stupid neurotics who are eternally covert in their aggression. They yank tendrils, they don’t pull heads off. THEY ‘get off ‘ by’irritating’ the folks near them. They deliberately throw a WRENCH into the works so ‘nothing around them goes smoothly. They enjoy that, make a ‘living’ doing that. DOES ONE OF THEM OCCASIONALLY MAKE A BIG MISTAKE? You betcha. Remember the guy who sank the VALDEZ? As he drank his tenth beer he said to himself ‘screw’em all.’ So what if I’m pilot? I get my beer. I’m entitled.’ These guys sink us all. Accidentally he killed a trillion seagulls and a zillion fish and a gadzillion oysters and clams and salmon up in Alaska and put thousands out of work for a few decades.
HOW MANY of those petty aggressives are out there having that extra reefer, that third beer, leaving their post at the Coulee Dam so that the bells go off and zonko is sleeping and 2000 people downline drown as their houses are swept away. PUHLENTY. These CHERNOBYLS happen all the time.
There is a lack of reverence and respect in the petty timid neurotics..just enuf to make them not be at their post.Do any of these timid guys ever totally lose it, and instead of just screwing up, grab a knife and cut out someone’s heart?
I don’t know. There are spectrums. Bundy was very aggressive, very overt. My son is very timid. Gentle. He will not only brake for a stray cat, he’ll take it home and make a life commitment to it.I envy you your youth, your educational degrees and career. I’ve had a small life. I don’t know enuf crazies even working my turf as a stargazer in Hollywood. But if you want to meet a big long line of crazies, get a psych degree and go into clinical psychology.
Speaking of which, There was once a book by Dr. Charlotte Wolf, palms of crazy kids from institutions. I read it (well it was mainly photos and hand prints ) in the 50’s. I was mega impressed, as I was a zealous student palmist. And all those crazy hands were something NO PALMIST had ever seen. THE WEIRDNESS was there, right on the palm
Well here’s where I think there is a divine plan. My son LUIS was born with that kind of strange palm and a horoscope from HELL. Having read that Dr. Charlotte Wolf book, I was in shock the day he was born. The signs were there. 27 years later he bloomed into a nut. He wasn’t a nut earlier. Just didn’t want to go to school, unsocial, no friends (and handsome as blazes) A loner.
DO ALL LONERS become passive aggressives? I don’t know. You however may end up the premiere psych world worker, writer, author, documentary maker,interpreter of new research in articles, books, ......the liason between the world of pop opinion and psych. And I volunteer to be your secretary, typist, editor, working as I do on PC’s typing fast, using a headset to transcribe tapes. I am the best ghostwriter around. I know how to market books, the works.
The world needs more pop info on this theme,a way for parents to detect the child ‘recently’ ‘pole vaulted ‘ into the schizophrenic side of the fence person. This disease strikes in the mid-20’s most often. That recently ‘tripping out’ person should be very motivated to quickly self medicate. To get a person who’s enjoying the tripping to self-medicatewould take books, videos, films, classes that underscore the dangers of letting the inevitable delusional process take over.
I remember a film from the fifties, “Clock Work Orange”. Stanley Kubrick did it, on reprogramming crazy violent boys with state sponsored aversion therapy. It’s a classic. Rent it! Recent arrivals int the world of delusions, schizophrenia, need to get into some new kind of lecture or study group FAST. One that will train them to consult shrinks, talk stresses over, discuss their aberated views before they take over,take medication and ‘manage’ their disease. I personally believe schizophrenia can be managed. My son has returned to seeming near-normalcy with his medication.
I worked for and studied with a famed screenwriter with many Oscars who was a genetic shizoid.Over thirty years that I worked with him, I heard his history. His mother had been locked up in a Manhattan loony binright after his birth and kept there on and off for decades. He didn’t show signs of the family disease often, but we who knew him—knew that he had it. He had visions and delusions easily and often, provoked by vodka or gin. He had a devilish mouth on him, a sense of humor that was devastating. Cruel. Heartless. He was a card carrying narcissist but over the years, he’d learned to contain his wit, his killer remarks and hide the religion of self interest. But occasionally, he’d throw caution to the winds and land zingers on bosses and co-workers (and this in a mega ego film business) and his behavior almost got him pushed out of the train. However,he still pretty much knew how to manage his illness. He ate protein three times a day to stay grounded, unleashed his drinking at 4 pm so he could shoot into the psychotic parabola all night, then fall asleep and wake sane again.
He earned a lot of money and awards writing his delusions down on paper and worked til age 85 and died rich at age 90. I was his typist, writing student, he took me everywhere. (I wish I had taken notes and could have been Boswell to a real Johnson!) After hearing all his ideas, world concepts, I knew that he was completely nuts. I saw how paranoid he was about how other writers in the Guild felt about him. He was allergic to all men in his profession. In any meeting he couldn’t be certain that he wouldn’t give his utter contempt away, so he refused to hang out with fellow guild members. At Guild meetings he had actually reversed the ‘special rights and special programs for minority writers’ program. Turned it around! Got it taken away! The absolute height of ungenerousness. The guild was very liberal and he earned a terrible rep there, ran for office and lost! (Duh.) In private, he’d tear the gladheart liberals apart. His big mouth almost got him fired from the Arafat /Rabin bio pic by producer, Ms. Streisand when she asked him, ‘how do your friends feel about your working with me. What do they want to know?’ And he couldn’t help himself. He responded, “they ask which part you’re playing.” (Meaning Arafat or Rabin.) She didn’t even smile.
Inappropriate remarks, racism, paranoia, aggression, delusions, lack of generosity, are these the features of the schizoid? Or does being a general awful human being slowly turn you into a mad man. Who was the wiseman who said, ‘whom the Gods abhor they drive mad.’ Which came first the egg or the chick? And what if it turns out that all the nasty quirks in humanity are just insanity? Touchy synapses in the brain, a brain quicker to go into low blood sugar than other brains. Maybe a trick pancreas. We can induce delusions in anyone. Take away food and sleep and give caffeine, sugar, alcohol. The healthy human turns schizoid. Has delusions. Does it follow that all schizoids are sensitive to brain blood sugar? More sensitive than the rest of us?
Until the organic constituents of this disease are understood, the mysteries of delusion are mapped,organic brain chemistry is the most probable area to look for clues. Meanwhile, in this increasingly addicted and sleepless Starbucks generation, threatening to give us a tidal wave of madness, prevention is the best bet. Anyone in the madness-preventing business can expect to make a lot of money and become quite famous, and attract huge grants from the federal govm’t. Article by Anita Sands Hernandez astrology at earthlink dot net
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