FUN (but true) APHORISMS

 "Worrying about something is praying for it to happen." ***"Where's thas muck, thas brass"  (where there is dirt there is money) " old Yorkshire (very muddy, rainy place,) pigfarmer saying. "Attempt things that are so ambitious audacious and HUGE that they will fail if God Himself doesn't intervene. " (From marquee of a Venice California church.)   "There is no such thing as luck. There is only adequate or inadequate preparation to cope with a statistical universe. "  Robert Heinlein ***"The arrow that hits the target is the result of a l00 that do not hit their mark." Buddhist saying. **"I am a winner when I allow myself to be a loser." This author. ***"HOUSEWORK is the only task which, done properly, no one notices, but not done, EVERYONE notices ---leaving no speculation why males can't be bothered to ever do a bit of it. This author "Nobody's met a human being; the first one hasn't been been born yet." Jean Houston "***Don't raise wind where no wind is blowing." Buddhist text. Under the ice of Winter, roots move invisibly thinking 'summer fruit.' This Author ** "Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth." (Albert Einstein) or say it this way: "If everyone says yes to the boss you get Rumania." Me to my producer boss,frequently, until he fired me for not agreeing with him. **"Humans angrily trample the redwood seedling they never saw growing in the space they were saving while praying for a redwood." Me. **"Art should describe something exotic we have never seen, something that is not yet, that one day might be. Art SHOULD anticipate evolution." Me."A quarter of what you eat keeps you alive. The other three quarters keeps your doctor alive."**"The purpose of the govm't is to impede progress. " a wise cynic."SLOW DOWN THE MOUTH, YOU SPEED UP THE BRAIN." Me." "WHILE ALL PRETTY SHOES pinch, I never saw an uncomfortable sandal. Me ""SELF LOVE is a blessing, a private thing, self known only. It's nickle and dime, 'mom and pop' sainthood, in a silent, humble way. Yet there's nothing grander. This knowing of one's mission and attention to the work involved, breeds goodness, direction and miraculous events. This last is a phenomenon of nature, quietly generous and not unlike the world's # 1 anonymous donor, the OCEAN which puts water into the atmosphere, creating an invisible cloud that feeds lakes a thousand miles away and causes rivers to run, and irrigates all fields putting food on all tables while no man can see when or how this is done. Self love causes similar miracles.""The only way to get where you're going is a STRAIGHT line."Wherever you're going, you're going from HERE, so here is perfect."Girls: never phone a man, never GIVE to a man. Never ask for more of his love or time. But DO ask for more money. A good woman is a taker. A good man is a giver. " Dr Pat Allen "Beware of two things only: the love of gold and the love of the opposite sex. " Great 19th Century mystic Ramakrishna **"There are only two things that make people crazy enough to call a psychic: Love and Money. " Anita "If you aren't living every minute as ecstasy, ask yourself what your "if only " is. (Like, if only I were rich). Your "If Only" is what is standing in the way of your enjoying the greatest E ticket ride there is." Ram Das'Why' (we did things) is the worst question for man to ask, but the only question God ever asks."There is a bus leaving every minute. Be on all of them." LSD philosopher. "Don't discuss or react so much to life. It's worse than just an illusion. It's a B movie.""There are no deaths, no endings, no absolutes...EVER."If Mother Teresa looked like Michelle Pfeiffer she'd learn to -----------, marry the Sheik of Oman, and put wells, generators, schools and clinics in every miserable village in the third world."You can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit. "The truth awaits the mind unclouded by longing. " Ancient Chinese philosopher. An agenda gets in the way of the trip. "The perfect way is without difficulties, save that it entails picking and choosing. The conflict between right and wrong is the sickness of the mind." The third patriarch of Zen. "Soul is everywhere Mind isn't.""The swamp is a fine place to visit for a bag of compost but a lousy place to live." "GOOD IDEAS DIE AWAY LIKE FIREWORKS. Memo pads, Dayrunners, SCHEDULES PUT THE FIREWORKS IN OUR LIFE FOREVER." "POWER is like a garden TOOL. It should not be stuck in your right hand. Such an ugly thing should be in the closet when you're not using it."You gotta rip holes in the earth to get OIL. "To strike oil, you don't dig fifty one-foot holes, you dig one fifty-foot one." LBJ "While there is one child weeping on this planet, none of us will know happiness."He who has lost a cheating lover and a nickle has lost a nickle."Men are incapable of being god-like. When they try to be God, they get tangled in bullshit, lies and vanity and end tripping on their own ego. Which isn't saying that God isn't a man. A few SOMEWHERE probably are. "You bring just as much unhappiness into this world when you take offense as when you give it. "Feed a snake milk he'll but turn it to poison." both me. "Give to a man he'll hate you; give to a woman she is grateful" Dr Pat Allen. "Hogamous higamous man is polygamous; higamous hogamous, woman's monogamous."***"Testerosterone is the devil's own hormone; that's why God made so little of it. **"When I am absent He is present. "Stop bemoaning the cup half empty --FEEL GRATEFUL for THE cup HALF FULL ---meanwhile, work for the jug. Me. **"What the Mind harbors, the body manifests. We are light coagulated into matter, frozen light, the body is in the soul not the other way around." The Master Jules ***"It's no good running a pig farm badly for thirty years while saying, 'Really I was meant to dance in the ballet'. By that time PIGS are starting to be your life." Brit personality, superfag Quentin Crisp *** "There are only two kinds of women, goddesses and doormats," Pablo Picasso. ***"Never attempt to expose someone's hypocricy to their face; they'll fight you and they won't get it. But point out the irony of their hypocricy; they'll laugh and immediately get it." Anita and Jules. "Answers hang near us like ripe fruit. The ladder we need to get to them is simply ---the question. Ponder the question." Anita "Life is solitary, nasty, poor, brutish and short" Thomas Hobbs "--and unfortunately, FAR TOO short" Woody Allen. "When you're dating, keep both eyes open; when you're married keep one eye closed." 90 year old Jewish woman, Joanna Feldman, married 60 years. ***"When you get married you trade the attention of a thousand men for the inattention of one." Anon. ***"The oldest living mammal is a rich relative" Dianne Bennett ***" Life without reincarnation is like a one act play. There simply isn't enough time for character development." Albert Taylor author of "Soul Traveller." ***"We are all born mad, some remain so." Anon. ***Plot of all Southern Novels: "On the night the hog ate Lilly, Mom died when she heard what Dad had done to Sister." "When you forgive, a miracle happens. When you tolerate, Hell happens." Me. "Growth for the Sake of Growth is the philosophy of Cancer Cells." Got it on the Net. "Don't throw the Christ Child out with the self-confrontational bathwater" the master Jules."You don't fry bacon when you're naked." Anon. "alzheimers makes the world new again, daily, hourly minutely everything is like the first time I heard or saw it." Anita